Is this so wrong? When I polled a bunch of parents with newly minted college kids to see if they ever check their kids’ location, the responses were mixed. About one-third of the respondents shared that they “never” check (transparently, one of them was my husband, which I think is hilarious since he has no problem with me giving him updates) but most said they definitely still do — although less frequently than they may have at home.

“I track my kids with Find My iPhone,” said one mom. “They know it and I have no problem with it. If they end up in a ditch on the side of the road I need to find them. The end.” Another mom said, “My daughter (college sophomore) not only shares her location on Life360 with me, but her friend groups share locations with each other!”

So clearly, I’m not alone. In fact, a cross-sectional study of over 700 college and university students published in the Journal of Adolescence found that “digital location tracking is a fairly common practice among college students, with nearly half of the sample endorsing currently or previously being digitally location tracked by their parent/caregiver.” 

But is it healthy? Yes and no, says Debbie Ferraro, LCSW, PMH-C, and a women’s therapist in private practice in New York City who works closely with moms of college kids. Parents are certainly used to checking up on their kids in this way, and it’s a hard habit to break. The important change as kids head off to college, she says, is to talk it through.

“Typically, as late adolescents transition into college, I recommend having a conversation around how to navigate this together in order to come to a shared understanding and clear boundaries for all,” Ferraro tells SheKnows. “Even if your young person doesn’t seem to have a strong boundary around this, it is important to acknowledge to them that there may be some checking happening, as this is an opportunity to keep the lines of communication open. Again, this is a way of maintaining and building trust in the relationship, which is what you want to preserve through this life phase and beyond.”

A “conversation” can be as informal as a dinner table mention: “I’m planning to keep Life360 going while you’re away — is that OK? I just want to be able to make myself feel better that you’re home safe now and again.” (Or whatever your personal reasoning might be.)

But be prepared for objections. Ferraro says that kids heading to college are smack dab in the middle of an important growth period called “separation and individuation.” This involves pushing back on parental involvement in a variety of ways, she says. It’s completely normal, and if your kid objects to your checking their whereabouts, that’s a developmentally appropriate response.

It’s also one you should heed, Ferraro adds. Even though according to Life360’s own study, 94 percent of Gen Zs polled say they benefit from location sharing, your kid may bristle at this notion and ask you not to. If this happens — abide. It doesn’t mean you can’t raise the subject again later, but for now, resist the urge to remind your kid the only reason they’re going to college in the first place is because you’re paying for it, their phone, and their food … and instead see how you feel when you delete the app.

There’s also such a thing as too much parent checking, cautions Ferraro. If it starts to interfere with your life — say, if you can’t fall asleep until you see that your kid is safely back in their dorm every night — that’s an issue. If this is the case, here’s your gentle reminder that this is a “you” problem, and you should seek out a trained therapist who can work with you on fixing it.

That being said, it’s important to acknowledge that this transition is a huge adjustment for us as parents, too, says Ferraro. And if we haven’t quite gotten into the groove of how much checking is too much checking, it will come. (I mean, our parents didn’t have Life360 when we left the house, and we turned out fine … for the most part.) Most of the parents with older college kids I spoke to don’t location-track much at all these days.

As for my own newbie college kid? Luckily for me, she has zero issues being occasionally tracked. In fact, over the first few weeks, she also made sure I had her email login, her school registration password, and her ATM pin — none of which I asked for — presumably so I could help her stay on top of things. However your kid feels about it, give yourself grace, and focus on the important things: like making sure they’re actually coming home for Thanksgiving!

Before you go, check out where your favorite celeb parents are sending their kids to college.

Like so many parenting milestones, you can listen to all the stories, read all the books, posts and articles you get your hands on and make as many plans as you can. But nothing truly prepares you until you experience it for yourself.

My first kid headed off to college, and I’m still questioning my parenting skills. Since then, I have taken stock of what has happened — the good and the bad — and am ready to admit that it wasn’t quite what I expected. Here’s my take on freshman year, and the lessons we learned that will come in handy for those just starting their journeys.

My kid brought too much stuff … and things she’ll never use.

Even after digesting countless how-to-pack guides and loading up on extra-long sheets, we forgot some basics. How I wished we had remembered a digital thermometer, especially when my daughter came down with COVID, and a small trash can for all those tissues.  And of course, the things we thought would be ideal, like a filtered water bottle, came back home untouched. Sometimes, it pays to wait and see what your kid will actually need — and for those moments, Amazon became her new best friend.

Dorm life isn’t what it used to be.

When I was in college, I remember meeting my hallmates and keeping our doors open to see who was around to grab dinner or go to the library. (And raise your hand if your RA hosted a “meet and greet” when you first arrived on campus, so there was no way you could be found sitting in your room alone.) These days, dorm room doors seem to remain closed and the halls are a bit quieter than back in the day. Is COVID to blame for the lack of interaction? Or the fact that they can keep in closer touch with their friends via social media now, and don’t feel such a pressing need to make new ones? There’s no substitute for striking up a conversation in person instead of scrolling through your Instagram feed.

Saying goodbye isn’t easy, but it’s something you’ll learn to master.

I’ve never been able to say “so long” when the time apart feels so long. That first time you leave your child is worse than the first day of preschool drop-off, not because you know your baby is growing up, but because they are (gulp) doing it without you. But now, after a few times of watching my daughter board a bus or train, I see someone who is becoming more independent with each mile she travels. That just makes me hug her harder — and shed fewer tears.

Those online parenting groups will be your lifeline.

Even if you’ve never met these moms and dads, you’ll take comfort in the fact that you are all going through the same thing: trying to stay present in your child’s life at school (and deal with the fact that they’re gone) while giving them the space they need. For some, it may be as simple as commiserating about the lack of hot water in the dorm or recommending a place to stay during parents’ weekend. For others, regular check-ins with parents of students struggling can provide a sense of community, especially when you are thousands of miles away.

Care packages are still cool.

It doesn’t matter if your cookies aren’t homemade, or whether or not there’s a holiday on the calendar. When your kid sees that little card in their mailbox alerting them to a package pickup, it will make their day. In the last few months, I have sent small boxes filled with extra socks for the winter, greeting cards with silly sentiments, window decorations for Halloween and Valentine’s Day, and treats from our local bakery. Sure, your kid may be getting old — but letting you know you love them never does.

Parenting from a distance is tough.

There’s no way to sugarcoat it: helping your student navigate the ups and downs of college life isn’t easy, especially when they are away from home. You wish you could just sit with your kid and listen to them pour their heart out as you pass the tissue box. But on the bright side, thanks to the wonders of technology, she is just a text or phone call away when she needs you.

Your texts may go unanswered — and that’s OK.

And of course, the flip side to constant contact is that you may not always get the resolution you’re hoping for. Did she decide to rush for the other sorority? Was he able to drop that class in time? Sure, we may have lost sleep with these worries, but when you finally hear that your kid “figured it out,” you’ll breathe a sigh of relief. Yes, sometimes no news is, in fact, good news.

You’ll feel happy and sad … sometimes all at once.

Remember the time when the kindergarten teacher told you that your kid fell at recess, but didn’t get upset and you were amazed at her bravery? And maybe later that night, when you recounted the story to your husband, you choked back tears? Yup, those same feelings may come rushing back at you now, with an even greater intensity. I loved that my kid didn’t rely on me to be her human alarm clock when she was home for winter break, but I do miss seeing the peaceful look on her sleeping face when I used to wake her up for school.

Finding “your people” can take a while.

Didn’t it seem like your suitemates became best buddies the moment they moved in? Not everyone experiences instant friendship — and if this sums up how your kid’s first-year experience, they are good company. I remind my daughter that connecting with people means putting yourself out there, even if it seems awkward, and that eventually, you may find one or two people who bring out the best in you. And if that doesn’t happen until the first snowflakes fall or spring blossoms begin to bud, that just means it was worth waiting for.

This is your kid’s college experience, not yours.

I continue to remind myself of this lesson because it’s not easy to accept. My own college years were filled with more negatives than positives, so I’ve done everything in my power to enter this stage of my adult life with eyes wide open. Because like any good parent, I can’t shield my kid from the trials and tribulations she’ll face. But, when it’s time to celebrate her triumphs, I’ll be ready and waiting.

Here’s where your favorite celebs’ kids are pursuing higher education.

Fast forward to that first experience dropping my son off at college. I had meticulously planned and shopped for his new independence, taking great care to ensure he had all the comforts of home. We set up his room, which required more than one trip to Target for storage bins, and followed the other parents’ leads when it was time to depart. I gave him a stoic yet tearful hug goodbye and, as we drove off campus, the water works started. My husband and I drove the nine-hour trip home in silence, except for a quick stop for our last fix of Tennessee barbecue. I stared out the window with occasional tears streaming down my face wondering what life was going to be like without my favorite son around the house.

Dropping my daughter off two years later was a bit of a different experience. She was my high-maintenance child — most girls are — so getting her out of the house was a bit more of a kick-my-heels-up-in-the-air kind of feeling. I would no longer get in the shower only to discover that my shampoo bottle was empty or my razor was missing. Let’s just say the tears flowed but were more of a sprinkle than a downpour.

The Good

“Empty nest” might be a bit of a misnomer. I’m nesting more now than I did in those pre-maternal days. My house is once again neat and organized and my husband and I relish those weekends lounging in our clean, quiet nest.

I don’t miss the messy rooms or the late nights worrying my kids were out driving around — truth be told, I was excited to know that they were on a college campus where their social life was within walking distance. That’s not to say that the stress of worrying about your kids doesn’t go away. But I sleep much more soundly at night now that I’m not waiting up for them to come home. I should caveat, though: I do have an app on my phone that tells me their locations (with their permission), so if I do have that 3 a.m. panic attack, I can check my phone and ensure they’re safely where they’re supposed to be.

There is something oddly reassuring knowing that they’re on their own to make decisions. Although I don’t consider myself a helicopter parent (maybe a hang-gliding parent), I doled out a lot of unsolicited advice on how to deal with friends, teachers and other sticky situations. But being in college, they’re now somewhat on their own to figure these things out for themselves. I do love those late night texts, “Mom, I need your advice on something.” It gives me hope that they’ll always need their mom.

The Bad

Those first trips to visit for parents weekends were like pouring salt in an open wound. Again, as we made the trip home, I would stare staring blankly out the window, but for shorter periods. Each time if felt like a cruel tease because I’d once again arrive home to an empty house.

But rest assured, re-entry got easier each time as we all adjusted to our lives apart — until that first Christmas break. No one warned me that having my newly independent young adult in the house would upset my new ecosystem. I had just learned to sleep through the night without worrying about their whereabouts, but suddenly, they were shirking curfew and staying out until all hours of the night, reconnecting with old friends. There are no curfews in college so what’s a mom to do? That first year, my son sauntered in at 4 a.m. and, yes, I was up waiting for him.

The Ugly (Crying)

One thing I was not prepared for was a loss of our silly traditions. Each year on the night before the first day of school, I would put a hotel-style door hanger on their doorknobs and let them choose their breakfast for the next day, just to alleviate any first day jitters. That first August when all of my friends were posting about their kids’ first day of school, I’ll admit I felt a little tug at my heart strings that I would not be on the computer making my door hangers. And as much as I hated carpool pickup lines, I found myself missing those Friday afternoon traditional Dairy Queen stops for ice cream to celebrate the end of a week. If nothing else, maybe they’ll do these things for their children someday.

Remember that “me” time I had longed for? There is such a thing as too much of a good thing. My husband often travels for work and I often find myself sitting home alone longing for the busyness of teenagers. I had no one to watch movies with, no one to share my carryout Chinese food with, and no one to keep me up late at night with worry. But an empty house is a quiet house. And a quiet house is a lonely house. I leave the TV on for extended periods, without watching it, just to counter that loneliness. Occasionally, I hack into my kids’ Spotify accounts and listen their playlists. Ultimately, I did learn to plan for these solo periods and I began scheduling nights out with my girlfriends who were also recently “orphaned”.

The Silver Lining

Now that we are truly empty nesters, it feels like our relationship as husband and wife was put on hold while we raised our kids and we are picking up right where we left off as newlyweds. We linger longer in restaurants, we listen to music over after-dinner drinks and we stay out late. We take weekend getaways where sitting on a soccer field is replaced with sitting in a tasting room at a vineyard. We have conversations about things other than our kids. We eat bowls of cereal for dinner in front of the TV. It’s different, but it’s a good different. Grown and flown is a good thing, I think as I pat myself on the back.

These celeb parents have gotten very real about their kids growing up.

When the “T” word popped up, it would have been easy to dismiss this change of heart. Transferring is one of the bravest — and most stressful — things your kid can contemplate, so it would have been way more convenient to hope he wasn’t serious about a) starting the application process again and b) adjusting to an entirely different school — two years in a row.

Because I know my child as well as I do, I knew this wasn’t idle chatter or the words of a homesick kid. So, instead of dismissing these sentiments, I leaned in — and learned. What unfolded were hours of discussion about what he really wanted, where he wanted to spend his next few years and, most important, what institution would give him the biggest boost into the real world.

Those conversations were intense and important. I did my best not to impose my own feelings or reminisce about my own college journey and, instead, really hear what he was saying. And, while I knew the next few months of transfer applications and essays would be challenging, I prepared to sit in the passenger seat as he drove his way to the ultimate goal of finding a college that would be a way better fit.

As the flurry of activity kicked in, it really helped to consider the fact that the choices you make as a senior in high school don’t always track when you actually set foot on a campus. That’s as true for our kids as it was for us and, if you start with this premise, it will help you along the way, agrees Laurie Kopp Weingarten, CEP, president and chief educational consultant at One-Stop College Counseling, a college counseling company in Marlboro, New Jersey.

“It’s essential to recognize that students evolve throughout their college years,” she says. “They may not be the same person at 19 or 20 as they were at 17 or 18 years old. Their likes/dislikes and priorities may have shifted.”

And, while I didn’t have an expert like Weingarten to guide me along the way when I was going through this a few years ago, I’m happy to report that my son is thriving at his new university. Read on as Weingarten shares a few key things to keep in mind if your child is getting ready to switch schools:

SheKnows: What would you say to parents who might think there’s a stigma to transferring schools?

Weingarten: There’s no stigma attached to transferring. College is arguably the most significant investment a parent [or young adult] makes, second only to buying a home. All parents want their students to be content and to thrive at their college of choice. It can be a long four years for a teenager if they’re miserable, so the option to transfer should be considered. Everyone, teens and adults, performs better when they’re happy. No one should feel “married” to their university; if it’s not the right fit, it’s reasonable to explore other options. Students should not feel obligated to remain at their school.

SheKnows: What advice would you give to parents to help their student who is contemplating a transfer?

Weingarten: Parents should begin the discussion by asking (and listening carefully!) about the reasons behind their student’s desire to transfer. Some reasons may be clear-cut and logical, such as wanting to pursue a major not offered at their current college or choosing to be closer to home to support a sick relative. However, other reasons may require further exploration, such as experiencing roommate challenges or not having a Starbucks nearby! Parents should help their teens decide whether transferring makes sense for them and encourage their student to explore the idea further. Teens should be able to verbalize what they find dissatisfying and they should be able to express their aspirations for their new college and experience. 

SheKnows: Once this conversation occurs, what are next steps? It can be scary to consider a second school, especially if the first one didn’t work out.

Weingarten: Students should thoroughly research colleges they hope to transfer into, ensuring that they won’t experience the same issues at the new institution. They should also try to speak to students on those campuses to learn about the college’s culture, lifestyle, and academic environment.  

SheKnows: What about the costs involved — new sets of application fees, or perhaps the new school will be more expensive?

Weingarten: Parents and students should establish clear expectations. It’s important to discuss potential financial implications, academic and career goals, and any other important factors. This ensures everyone will be on the same page regarding the decision to transfer and the anticipated outcome.

SheKnows: What’s something parents should work hard to avoid?

Weingarten: In my experience working primarily with high-achieving students, I’ve encountered situations where parents have advocated for their teens to transfer, often with the goal of “trading up” and having their child graduate with a degree from a “brand name” school. Parents should focus on the student’s well-being and academic fit and make sure they are transferring for the right reasons. That’s what matters most.

Before you go, check out what these celeb parents had to say about their kids heading off to college.

There I sat in my living room in front of my laptop, sobbing and sneezing as I watched him walk across the stage to receive his diploma — via Zoom.

Something clicked at that very moment. I realized that I was about to live alone again, and instead of feeling a sense of freedom, it started to feel like a dull ache I couldn’t shake.

For parents, the ache of the empty nest is real. After all, you’re quickly transitioning from the day-to-day knowing about your child’s daily life, to phone calls or texts that attempt to fill in the blanks but can’t stack up to the closeness you feel just living with someone you love so much.

And no matter how real this feels, there’s also a stigma to feeling sad when your child launches. In other words, you’re supposed to suppress your sobs while you help make the bed in your child’s dorm room and you’re supposed to project joy. After all, the daily “work” of parenting is done.

Not me. I barely held it together as I carried bag after bag of Target must-haves into my son’s dorm room. And, in the days after I flew home from campus, that feeling only intensified. I’d start sniffling when I walked by his elementary school yard. I’d get choked up running past the baseball fields he played in, and forget about stopping for coffee at our favorite café — that was way too triggering.

It was a sadness I couldn’t shake, but there was a silver lining: My friends in the same life stage were also trying to make sense of this sudden shift. Once we started talking, we couldn’t stop, and I realized that we all needed community; we needed a safe place to share our feelings.

Within a week, I came up with the idea of holding empty nester dinners, and within minutes of texting friends and friends of friends, the concept took hold.

The first few meetings were epic. My living room, once packed with my son and his many friends as my apartment had become the hang-out house, was crowded — filled with a dozen people all talking at once, all excitedly sharing a favorite dish, all eager to meet each other and exchange notes.

We talked about so many things during those early gatherings. We helped each other navigate our second acts: One of us was embarking on a career pivot, another talked about finally having time for yoga. We talked about loneliness and marriage and divorce and networked with each other, sharing job leads and recommendations of movies and theater, museum openings and favorite places to go running.

But the most fun moments arose when a hot topic would be brought to the table. Sitting in a circle, juggling a full plate and a wine glass too, we covered a lot of ground, debating everything from whether we still track our kids on ‘Find Friends,’ to wondering about Greek life at our kids’ campuses and, ultimately, how to be the most supportive parents — even from afar.

Over the months, our group expanded — and contracted — with newbies joining every now and then. That was fun, too, when my doorbell would ring and I wouldn’t even know the person on the other side. All that mattered was that we all shared a bond. We had all launched our kids, and that was something we could all be proud of.

It has been over a year of regular meals together, and last night, we decided to meet at a local Tex-Mex restaurant. There, as we sat at an oversized round table, we started our potluck the same way we usually do — using a fork as a microphone, we passed it around so everyone could share two quirky things about themselves.

Some of the answers were ones we’d heard before, which made us laugh, and others shared new things we never knew. As I looked around this group of smart, loving parents, I felt proud of creating this unique community.

Then, as I walked home, I passed that café my son and I would meet in almost every day after school. I hesitated for a second, took a deep breath and walked right in. Instead of feeling morose, I felt grateful that I was the one who got to savor so many cups of coffees with my son in that very space.

And I had another revelation: No matter how old your kids are, you’re never really done being a parent. And with the holidays on the horizon, there would be plenty more chances for us to sit in this very space and catch up.

Just like that, my nest didn’t seem so empty anymore.

As the parent of a rising 11th-grade student, this ruling caught my attention. While we have made preparation to pay for our son’s college education, and he has maintained good grades, I still worry that he may not be accepted into his desired school. We live in California, where in 1996, voters struck down race-conscious admission via Proposition 209. The result has been disastrous for Black students attempting to attend schools in the U.C. system. In fact, a Los Angeles Times report revealed that exactly one decade after Affirmative Action ended, UCLA had only 96 Black students in its incoming class of 4,852 freshmen. A large share of them were athletes.

Since then, nine other states — Arizona, Florida, Idaho, Michigan, Nebraska, New Hampshire, Oklahoma, Texas, and Washington — have followed. If UCLA’s dismal admission record is any indication of what’s to come, then students of color are in for a bumpy ride. It’s a sad fact when you consider that a diverse school population allows students to experience views and cultures much different than their own.

Dr. Shaun Harper is a leading expert on diversity, equity, and inclusion, and founder and executive director of the USC Race and Equity Center. In a recent Forbes article, he detailed what will happen on campuses nationwide as Black students strive to access a college education post-Affirmative Action.

“Based on trends and outcomes across the ten states that previously passed Affirmative Action bans, Black student enrollment will decline at many predominantly white institutions (PWIs). Historically Black colleges and universities (HBCUs) will see an increase in enrollment.” Unsurprisingly, Harper added, “Schools with big-time sports programs will miraculously find admissible Black athletes.”

The ruling will also lead to decreases in race-focused campus initiatives, a decline in the number of faculty and administrators of color, and it will further marginalize people of color at PWIs. Ultimately, white students will learn too little about other cultures, and they will enter professions even less prepared to work with, and perhaps lead, employees of color.

Michele Dolphin knows the importance of preparing students for college. The Los Angeles-based chemistry teacher and director of a high school biomedical pathway program has helped countless students land at their dream schools for nearly a decade, including her own twins.

“When our boys were in middle school, my husband and I decided to play to our strengths,” she recalls. “As an educator, I directed their academics and made sure their grades stayed on point, and my husband led their interpersonal skills to help them gain valuable internships through his connections.”

It paid off. Their sons recently graduated from Ivy League Brown University and are well on their way to successful careers. The Dolphins also run IvyBound LA, an all-inclusive academic consulting agency that assists high school students develop unique and compelling college applications that reflect their strengths. Hiring a coach during the student’s freshmen year is ideal, but any time within the four years can be beneficial. The key is to find a coach your child resonates with because they will get the most out of the student. It is also important to trust the coach’s process.

Read on for a parent (and student) roadmap to collegiate success, even facing these new challenges.

NINTH GRADE – The correct course load is important. Counselors are there to assist, but for your child to get into the college of their choice, they must curate a resume; a four-year academic roadmap, of sorts, to ensure that academic rigor is evident. If you’re unsure where to begin, use a Google resume template. This will keep all internships and awards in one place so that when it is time to apply to colleges, the student doesn’t have to try to remember what they accomplished in four years. If your child excels in math and honors (or AP) courses are offered during the freshman year, Dolphin advises students to challenge themselves. Lastly, most universities are test-optional; some colleges have even eliminated those metrics. Have your child take the SAT and ACT with minimal studying to determine which test they feel most comfortable taking. Doing so provides a starting point of where improvement is needed. Retake the test during the sophomore year, so there is an option should they decide to submit it when applying to colleges. It is better to have it and not need it than to not have it and limit college options.

TENTH GRADE – By sophomore year, parents should know which standardized test their child will be successful in taking. A good score depends on the college they plan to apply to. If your child is struggling, consider using study guidebooks, online tutors, or a coach if feasible. This is also the year to identify a passion project to pursue. Colleges want to see that a student is not just a member of a club, or checking off a community service box, but creating a personal project that they lead out of intense curiosity or interest. The project should be something that can be built on each year, with a culminating part being executed during their senior year. Showing a leadership role through involvement in clubs and organizations is important.

ELEVENTH GRADE – The junior year is vital. It solidifies a student’s hard work and is the year they should put the finishing touches on four areas: academics, leadership, service, and internship/passion projects. This is the last year for them to showcase their academic ability by taking challenging AP and honors courses. In leadership, the student should have secured a leading position in the club/organization of their choice. Service can coincide with the internship depending on their desired field of study in college. Ideally, the internship should reflect the area of study your child would like to pursue or explore in college.

“If engineering is of interest, by eleventh grade they should have shadowed an engineer or participated in an engineering program at a university,” says Dolphin. “The passion project should be fully active and have tangible evidence of growth.”

TWELFTH GRADE – This is when parents need to be the distraction eliminator, and it should start the summer before senior year. Writing college essays and personal statements is a job within itself. It requires hours on your child’s part to write an impressive essay that will help tell the college what makes them unique and sets them apart from another student whose resume may look similar.  As a parent, it will be your job to help organize all due dates and documents each college asks the student to submit. Dolphin’s biggest suggestion is to begin to write personal statements before the start of senior year, while they aren’t yet inundated with school activities. If you find yourself behind the eight-ball, Dolphin says, don’t panic. “I had a client who, because of family circumstances, did not do as well as he had hoped. We explained his story and what his dream was in his college essay. The university wanted to help him make that dream come true. The lesson to be learned is that how your child tells his/her story makes all the difference in their acceptance.”

Dolphin also has advice for paying for college. If a merit-based scholarship is not an option and financial aid is needed, start by inquiring with the school.

“Even if you have received your financial aid package from the University, don’t hesitate to ask for more aid,” she urges. “Most colleges will allow you to appeal, and most of the time, they will reward your child with more financial assistance. If that does not happen, most Universities have scholarships or grants available that aren’t advertised.” If all that does not yield more gains, start with the city where you live, as most cities offer scholarships for students to apply. Lastly, reach out to organizations of your child’s intended career choice. For example, if he wants to be an engineer, find a state or national engineering association, and apply for their scholarships.

“Children are not the same, and some students are not innately driven in high school, and that’s okay,” says Dolphin. “What is most important is that they have an end goal, whether it is a trade school or a career that requires a college degree. There is more than one way to land at your dream school.”

Note that these are actually-scary stories perfect for older kids, so be prepared to find said kid in your bed once they’ve finished reading. From dolls coming alive to a boy imprisoned by a witch to a school trip gone horribly wrong, these books will give you goosebumps and make you extra jumpy; just make sure you don’t read these while you’re home alone. If you do, you’ll be faced with the terrible dilemma of a) reading in silence so you can hear the footsteps coming for you, or b) turning up the TV so you don’t hear anything at all. You can also read these stories along with your older kids while on doorbell duty — and watch as they jump out of their skin every time the doorbell rings. Trick or treat…

Our mission at SheKnows is to empower and inspire women, and we only feature products we think you’ll love as much as we do. Please note that if you purchase something by clicking on a link within this story, we may receive a small commission of the sale.

A version of this story was originally published in October 2019.

Parents and educators used to discount comics as cheating. Though they thought visual art had value, and books for kids had value, they failed to see the value of words when combined with visual art once you got past the 1st-grade reading level. We are so glad that stigma is slowly but surely seeping away. Now, adults are allowed to wax poetic about Spider-Man, Watchmen, and Fun Home, and children are encouraged to check out books from entire corners of the library filled with graphic novels, graphic history books, graphic autobiographies, and whatever other genre might go nicely with panels of illustrations and a thought bubble or two.

That makes this job both easier and harder. There is so much to choose from, even just looking at the first half of 2020, that we can’t possibly call this an exhaustive list of all the best graphic novels for kids. We can tell you that this is a list of new graphic novels that includes some humor, both basic (see The Sewer Rat Stink) and angsty (Becoming Briana). There are middle-grade and YA fantasy books and novels with just a hint of magical realism. We’ve included new installments of popular graphic novel series (Phoebe and Her Unicorn: Camping With Unicorns) and a new graphic version of long-beloved middle grade series (Baby-sitters Little Sister: Karen’s Roller Skates). And it includes some voices we haven’t always heard much of in the kid-lit world: from gay Black superheroes to Somali refugees to aging witches. There’s a mystical tale of a Chicana rocker and a down-to-earth story of a blended family working the farmer’s market. There are true stories from modern times and almost-true stories from long ago.

There is a common thread going through all of these, whether they’re still under the radar or already popular graphic novels for kids: These stories bring children into new worlds and keep them turning those pages until the very end. That’s perhaps what today’s librarians and English teachers have learned that their predecessors didn’t notice. Having pictures doesn’t make these books any less worthy of our kids’ attention, it just makes them dive a little deeper into someone else’s imagination, if only for an afternoon.

Take a look at our list of the best graphic novels for kids of 2020 so far, and drop us a comment if there’s something great we’ve missed.

Our mission at SheKnows is to empower and inspire women, and we only feature products we think you’ll love as much as we do. Please note that if you purchase something by clicking on a link within this story, we may receive a small commission of the sale and the retailer may receive certain auditable data for accounting purposes.

A version of this story was originally published in July 2020.

Important movements are happening on college campuses across the nation, but conversations about sexual assault and consent need to begin as early as possible. After all, 46 percent of high school-age students have had sexual intercourse; they’re not exactly naive strangers to the topic of sex. Speaking with your preteen and teenage children about consent is a crucial way to empower and educate them as they begin to explore their own sexuality.

If you don’t know where to start, you’re not alone. Conversations about sexual assault are never easy, and most teens aren’t exactly clamoring to chat with their parents about anything related to sex. Starting the conversation is often the trickiest part — and that’s where books come in. A number of amazing young-adult books address sexual assault and consent, and reading them with your children is the ideal gateway to beginning this important discussion. Read on for our picks.

Our mission at SheKnows is to empower and inspire women, and we only feature products we think you’ll love as much as we do. Please note that if you purchase something by clicking on a link within this story, we may receive a small commission of the sale and the retailer may receive certain auditable data for accounting purposes.

A version of this article was originally published in January 2018.