While this cold dose of reality is quite common, don’t fret. Pumpkin-carving can still be fun — and worthy of an Instagram snap — when you prepare by printing off a few simple templates in advance. We’ve got bats, monsters, ghosts, skulls, happy pumpkin faces and plenty more printables to impress your (and everybody else’s) kids this Halloween.

(Need even more ideas? How about Pikachu, Donald Duck, and jack-o-lantern faces both sweet and spooky? Or iconic characters from some of your kids’ favorite movies? Or even adorable dog breeds? We’ve got you covered.)

Originally published September 2015. Updated October 2023.

Child psychologist Michele Borba tells SheKnows that while there’s no one-size strict age cutoff, most kids naturally decide between 12 and 17 that they feel too old to participate in trick-or-treating. “It really depends on the individual child, their peer group, and the neighborhood where they live as to what is acceptable,” she explains.

That said, certain areas do indeed enforce nonnegotiable trick-or-treat rules. For example, the city of Bathurst, Canada, actually passed a law to prohibit trick-or-treating for kids age 16 and older (the cutoff was originally 14 but it was raised in 2017) as well as a curfew for when revelers of all ages must stop going door-to-door. These laws were ostensibly put in place to ensure older kids didn’t use the holiday as an excuse to misbehave and act out.

But Borba doesn’t believe older children want to trick-or-treat in order to cause trouble. “In general, they just want to have a good time on Halloween. If parents guide them correctly, they can have a fun and safe night.” If an older child wants to partake in trick-or-treat, Borba urges parents to let them — provided they follow certain guidelines. For one thing, they should wear a costume. It doesn’t need to be elaborate, but it is a key part of the trick-or-treating fun and ritual. Plus, it makes them appear a lot more engaged than if they just ring the doorbell asking for treats in their street clothes.

What else? “There will be many little kids walking around, so the costumes older children choose should not be scary, offensive or violent,” says Borba. And older kids may prefer to dress in a group costume to eliminate any self-consciousness or concerns about being the only older kid dressed up.

Older children who are trick-or-treating also need to be extra polite as they walk through their neighborhood. “Remind teens that they are representing their family and need to use good manners at all times,” says Borba. “Little kids will be all around, and they will be listening, watching and emulating these older children, so it’s important to act as role models.”

“The big concerns I have are that younger kids get priority,” Lizzie Post, co-president of the Emily Post Institute (and great-great-granddaughter of etiquette guru Emily Post), told Time. “You want to make sure younger kids are getting the chance and the opportunity, but I don’t want to discourage teens from enjoying this as long they’re behaving well.”

And last but not least, set a curfew for when your child needs to return home from trick-or-treating. Just because older kids have later bedtimes than little ones, it doesn’t mean neighbors want them to ring their bells at all hours of the night. And assuming teens are trick-or-treating without an adult, make sure they stay with their friends, don’t leave anyone behind and that at least one member of the group has a cell phone in case a parent needs to be in contact.

That said, there are plenty of substitutes for trick-or-treating that will let older kids celebrate (safely) in style. If your older child isn’t feeling the neighborhood romp this year, reach out to the parents of their friends to cook up an alternative. Borba says, “Teens are especially self-conscious and prefer not to be alone. They might worry their friends don’t want to go, or will mock them if they do go. Parents should rely on their village of other parents; work together to help the kids to formulate a plan that everyone will enjoy.”

If kids feel too old to trick-or-treat themselves, suggest they volunteer to take a younger sibling or neighbor’s child out for treats. Parents with multiple kids may welcome the additional help on Halloween, and it’s an excellent way for older kids to feel part of the childish festivities and grown up at the same time.

Teens could also trick-or-treat for charity instead of candy. Dr. Maurice Elias, professor of psychology at Rutgers University says, “Many people don’t remember, but years ago, it was popular to trick or treat for the charity of UNICEF. Instead of candy, kids would ask for small donations for this cause. Collecting for charity instead of calories is something that can become more mainstream once again on Halloween and certainly would not be age-inappropriate for teens to do.”

Another idea is for parents to host a supervised Halloween party for older children in their home or at a recreational center. Order food and nonalcoholic drinks, set up party games and/or provide music for dancing. If kids want to dress in costume, there can be prizes for most original or scariest.

For kids young and old, parents should broach the topic of Halloween a few weeks in advance. Brainstorming ideas on how to find a way to celebrate that feels right. Older kids shouldn’t feel they have to give up the fun of trick-or-treating before they are ready. They just may need to be a little creative about the parameters to make the day age-appropriately fun.

A version of this story was originally published in October 2018.

Over the last decade, SheKnows has had an ongoing series of discussions with members of Gen Z to gauge how they feel about serious and substantial topics such as politics, gender and racial equality, and women’s rights. We’ve checked in with them as they’ve grown from energetic kids to insightful teens to young adults poised to make their mark on the world. These evolving conversations have provided a fascinating glimpse into their opinions over the years, but more importantly, how they’re feeling now that they’re old enough to vote — and playing a pivotal part in choosing our next President.

Gen Z Voters: By the Numbers — & Beyond

Nearly half of Gen Z voters (45 percent in the general electorate and 47 percent of newly eligible voters) are people of color, making Gen Z more racially and ethnically diverse than previous generations. But their diversity isn’t all that sets them apart — not by a long shot. Gen Z has spent their teen and young adult years trying to navigate a complex web of interconnected crises, including systemic racism, gender-based violence, crippling student debt, and erosion of reproductive and gender rights, set against the ominous backdrop of climate change. They’ve seen only elections that feel polarizing and divisive, if not downright hostile. Older members of Gen Z report feeling disillusioned by the surge of negativity, misinformation, and harmful rhetoric that has dominated the past three election cycles; they’re tired and cynical, skeptical of each party’s true intentions.

Because of this, the resulting fear and uncertainty that many Gen Z-ers feel for their future has made them especially engaged in social activism, and deeply connected to the causes they’re passionate about. “They lean less into party divisions and are particularly motivated by the issues,” Emily Slatkow, communications director for the progressive youth voting organization NextGen America, said in an article for NBC News.

A recent survey revealed that almost one-third of Gen Z (32 percent) report being regularly active in social justice work, as opposed to just 24 percent of millennials — a number that goes up to roughly 40 percent among college-aged Gen Zers. For 62 percent of Gen Z activists, moral conviction is the top driver; they’re compelled by a deep sense of what is right. Another key motivator, cited by over half, is a personal connection — either their own experiences or those of close friends and family — which sparks their passion for specific social causes.

Back in 2020, a Pew Survey found that 22 percent of registered voters aged 18 to 23 — the oldest members of Gen Z — approved of how Donald Trump was handling his job as President, while about three-quarters disapproved (77 percent). In a September 2024 survey by NBC News, half of Gen Z voters say they’re planning to vote for Vice President Kamala Harris in November, while one-third say they’ll vote for former President Donald Trump; still a bigger gap for Harris, but not quite the majority seen in the 2020 election. The Fall 2024 Harvard Youth Poll, conducted by the Institute of Politics (IOP) at the Harvard Kennedy School, saw Harris leading Trump by a large margin — 64 percent versus 32 percent among likely voters.

Interestingly, while both genders are leaning heavily toward Harris, the rate of female support has far surpassed males; the gender gap, which stood at 17 points in the Spring poll, has nearly doubled and is now at 30 points. “There is this unprecedented gap in Gen Z, in the under 30s, in terms of political affiliation and voting intention. But it’s also worth emphasizing that more of that gap may be driven by the move of young women to the left than it is of young men to the right, Richard V. Reeves, author of the book Of Boys and Men: Why the Modern Male Is Struggling, Why It Matters, and What to Do About It, told SheKnows. “I think that for most young men it’s actually more a question of feeling quite politically homeless. They don’t see much on the left for them, for sure. And I don’t necessarily think they’re wrong about that.”

But if talk doesn’t turn into action, none of these statistics will matter one iota, which brings us to the biggest question: Will Gen Z show up at the polls? According to the Harvard Youth Poll, absolutely. “Fifty-six percent of young Americans tell us they plan to ‘definitely’ vote in the upcoming election,” the findings state. “Among registered voters, the number rises to 72 percent.” This number has been bolstered by the surprising mid-race candidate swap. Before Harris took over as the Democratic nominee, Gen Z’s motivation to vote was much more lukewarm. “What I’m hearing from my generation, or my peers, is that people aren’t going to vote at all because they’re not feeling satisfied or represented by either of the big options,” Amelia, 21, told SheKnows prior to Biden’s departure from the race. Now, it’s a totally different story.

“Much of this increased enthusiasm among [Gen Z] Democrats is tied to Kamala Harris as their party’s nominee,” says the Harvard Poll. “More than four-in-five (81 percent) of Harris supporters in a direct match-up with Trump are enthusiastic about voting for her, nearly doubling the 43 percent of Biden supporters who said the same in March.” It can’t hurt that Harris’s campaign has intentionally set out to appeal largely to Gen Z voters; after all, teens do spend an average of 8.5 hours a day on screens, swiping through their social media.

The enthusiasm for Harris may be renewed, but it certainly isn’t new. “I hope that a woman could one day be President. I hope that a person of color could be President again,” Gen Z panelist Reed told us in 2020. “And I think that one thing we need to address is this country’s issue with women in office.” And in the same year, fellow panelist Jack mused, almost prophetically, “I don’t know what’s going to happen in four years. I think [Kamala Harris] would be a good President. I’d support her. I’d be able to vote then.”

Well, folks, “then” is now — and it’s Gen Z’s time to be heard. Will they realize the full potential of their impact and turn out in record numbers to vote? It’s a question we’ve waited for the past 10 years to answer … and in two weeks, we’ll all know. In the meantime, watch the full video to see the evolution of these first-time voters.

It was the end of the final day of our family’s first trip to Walt Disney World in Florida, and we’d spent an epic day at Animal Kingdom before heading to EPCOT. After a quick zip between Disney parks via shuttle bus, our family was seated at the World Showcase’s France Pavilion at a beautiful Parisian brasserie.

As we savored a delicious spread of cheese, charcuterie and baguettes, we reflected on our adventures at the four Disney theme parks (Magic Kingdom, EPCOT, Hollywood Studios and Animal Kingdom). My kids (ages 4, 4, and 7) unanimously agreed: this was the best vacation ever. Here’s what we learned on our trip, and everything you need to know to make a family vacation to Walt Disney World magical.

Plan for One Full Day Per Walt Disney World Park

When tackling Disney’s theme parks with young kids, remember that there are miles of ground to cover. Decide which parks you want to visit and then set aside at least one day for each of them.

At the Magic Kingdom, some of our favorites were the vintage classic attractions “it’s a small world,” Prince Charming Regal Carousel (formerly Cinderella’s Golden Carousel), Peter Pan’s Flight and the Enchanted Tiki Room. At EPCOT, we enjoyed a thrilling boat ride through Frozen’s Arendelle on Frozen Ever After (which replaced the prior Maelstrom ride) and the gentle water journey Gran Fiesta Tour Starring The Three Caballeros.

At Animal Kingdom, my kids loved spotting graceful giraffes and cheetahs on Kilimanjaro Safaris, and adored the spectacular stage shows Festival of the Lion King and Finding Nemo: The Big Blue…And Beyond! At Hollywood Studios, some of my favorite memories are of exploring the Planet Batuu at Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge and catching the stage show Disney’s Beauty and the Beast – Live On Stage.

Go Park Hopping at Walt Disney World

While allowing enough time to see each park on your list is essential, the ability to “park hop” with young kids is also a sanity-saving upgrade that I was grateful for.

We only spent one day at EPCOT, but our Park Hopper tickets allowed us to return to dine “around the world” during the other evenings of our trip. We dined at Norway’s Akershus Royal Banquet Hall (with princesses!), danced to German Polka music at Germany’s Biergarten Restaurant and enjoyed table service near the Eiffel Tower at France’s Chefs de France.

Since days with little ones can be unpredictable, the Park Hopper option (which allows guests with park tickets with Park Hopper benefits or annual passes to visit more than one park in a day) also allowed us to make promises such as “We can ride Spaceship Earth tomorrow,” and mean it.

Must-Do: Character Dining at Walt Disney World

Since this was our first Walt Disney World trip with children in tow, it was my first experience with character dining. I highly recommend it, especially because many of the character dining restaurants also have excellent cuisine.

At Hollywood Studios, we ate a delectable lunch at the classic diner Hollywood & Vine, where a rotating parade of Disney characters entertained our kids. Minnie and Mickey Mouse, Goofy, Pluto and Donald all stopped by in festive springtime outfits to take photos and banter with my children.

At Animal Kingdom, we dined on flavorful African-inspired fare at Tusker House, where classic characters (this time in safari-themed outfits) stopped by our table frequently. The staff and characters even sang a joyful song and danced down the aisles. My kids loved it.

For fans of Winnie the Pooh, The Crystal Palace on Main Street, U.S.A., is the spot for character dining with all of the friends from Hundred-Acre Wood. Just make sure to make dining reservations ahead of time, since the restaurants offering character meals can get busy.

Give Kids Space to Play at Walt Disney World

As tempting as it can be to go on rides all day, I realized quickly that young children need time to just be kids.

At Animal Kingdom, my kiddos gravitated to The Boneyard, an expansive open-air play space where they scaled rope ladders and bridges, climbed through caves, slid down slides and laughed and played with other children. There is ample seating for parents, too, offering a much-needed place to relax while the kids play.

At EPCOT, we loved playing in water on the self-guided outdoor trail Journey of Water, Inspired by Moana, and at the Magic Kingdom, my children adored climbing through the treetops at the spectacular Swiss Family Treehouse.

These interactive spots for playtime can be found at all of the parks, and they’re especially restorative for little ones.

Rent a Disney Stroller (or Two!)

Walt Disney World’s four theme parks are bigger than they seem — and even if your kids haven’t used strollers in years (like ours), you’ll want them. While we somehow made it through a full day at the Magic Kingdom without them, we ended up renting two strollers the following day at Hollywood Studios (a double stroller for our 4-year-olds and another for our 7-year-old). The strollers proved invaluable when the kids needed a break.

The stroller rental process is easy and seamless. We were able to prepay for the number of days we needed them and simply picked them up on our way into each park (the rentals transfer, so no need to lug strollers between parks). While we didn’t always use them (it’s easy enough to leave strollers parked when not in use), it was nice to know that option was there when the kiddos needed them.
This guide to renting strollers at Disney has essential info for families on this topic, including how to make yours stand out in a crowded buggy parking lot.

Take Breaks at Walt Disney World

For younger kids who need quiet time, Disney’s Baby Care Centers are a wonderful option for little ones needing a break. These centers are located in each of the parks, and provide a quiet place to avoid meltdowns, have a snack or reapply sunscreen.

Geared mostly for babies and nursing moms, they’re also a great option for toddlers that need a break, with restroom facilities, a main room with a television, changing room and a private nursing room with rocking chairs. There is also an on-site shop with snacks, sunscreen, over-the-counter medication and clothing available for purchase.

While we didn’t utilize the Baby Care Centers on our trip, we made sure to take numerous breaks throughout the parks to rest and recharge.

Skip the Lines

If you’re planning to do rides with young kids at the theme parks, Lightning Lane Passes are a lifesaver. Lightning Lane entry allows you to bypass long lines and join separate (much shorter) lines for certain experiences. Lightning Lane Passes are available in both Multi Pass and Single Pass options. A Lightning Lane Premier Pass option will also be available starting in October 2024.

However you buy them, Lightning Lane access allows users to skip waiting in long lines — something that made our Disney experience much better. This also helps immensely when separating for rides; at Toy Story Land at Hollywood Studios, my daughter and husband went on the Slinky Dog Dash rollercoaster while her younger siblings and I grabbed a snack. They were back in a flash because they’d used Lightning Lanes to skip to the shorter line.

While Disney offers Rider Switch — the chance for adults to go on a ride one at a time while the other waits with young children, without having to wait in line again — we didn’t mind skipping the higher-level rides. One day when all the kids have surpassed the height requirement, we’ll return to try the thrill rides.

Get Fabulous Walt Disney World Photos

 If you want great family photos of your Disney vacation, Disney PhotoPass is a worthwhile add-on.

The service allows you to have professional photos taken at locations throughout Disney’s theme parks, and the Memory Maker option allows you to pay one price for all of them. Disney’s MagicBand+ made this especially easy, allowing each photographer to simply scan my band to have the photos instantly appear in the My Disney Experience app on my phone.

One thing our family particularly loved was “magic photos,” which allow photographers to magically make something appear in a photo that wasn’t actually there. We have a photo of our 4-year-old daughter holding Beauty and the Beast’s Lumière on her palm, as well as a photo of the kids with Peter Pan’s Tinkerbell. These are photos we’ll treasure forever.

Stay On-Property at a Walt Disney World Resort

This trip marked our first time staying at a Disney Resort Hotel, and the experience was phenomenal.

We stayed in a Cars Family Suite at Disney’s Art of Animation Resort. With exceptional service (including online check in), three swimming pools, a Finding Nemo-themed playground and kid-friendly hotel rooms, the resort had everything we needed and more.

The resort offers a wide selection of both standard and family suites, each meticulously themed to Disney’s The Lion King, The Little Mermaid, Finding Nemo or Pixar’s Cars. Our suite came complete with a murphy bed, sofa bed, kitchenette, living room, two full bathrooms and master bedroom. 

The dining options at the resort’s Landscape of Flavors food hall were great, too, offering quick service and extended hours (perfect when we came home hungry late one night after staying up to watch the Fantasmic! Fireworks show at Hollywood Studios).

Ride Walt Disney World’s Skyliner and Monorail

The best part about staying at Disney’s Art of Animation Resort was its amazingly easy transportation options to the four theme parks. We didn’t drive at all while staying at the resort (nor will you need to if you stay at any of the on-property Disney resorts).

Our favorite form of transportation was the Disney Skyliner, a gondola system that offers views from private gondolas while soaring through the air to EPCOT and Hollywood Studios. Water taxis and ferries are also an option to get to Disney Springs and from deluxe resorts such as Disney’s Contemporary Resort.

We used the frequent Disney buses to get to the Magic Kingdom and Animal Kingdom (accessible via a bus stop in front of Animation Hall, the main building at the resort), and used Disney’s Monorail system to park hop between the Magic Kingdom and EPCOT.

Walt Disney World Details

All four of Walt Disney World’s parks (Magic Kingdom, EPCOT, Hollywood Studios and Animal Kingdom) are 30 minutes by car or charter bus from the Orlando International Airport, the Orlando Brightline station and the Orlando Amtrak station. Parking is free for guests of Disney resort hotels (and select annual passholders); all other vehicles will pay a daily parking fee that starts at $30 per day.

If you’re staying onsite at a Walt Disney World Resort hotel, you won’t need a car to get to the parks. Transportation via Skyliner, bus and Monorail is complimentary, with private Minnie Van transportation available via Lyft in a whimsical red and white polka-dotted “Minnie” van (for a nominal fee).

We didn’t drive at all during our trip; we took a Brightline high-speed passenger train from our home in South Florida to the station at the Orlando International Airport, then took the Mears Connect charter bus service to our Disney resort hotel (and then the reverse on the way home). I’d recommend it to anyone.

Halloween is a magical time when people big and small get to dress up and pretend to be someone — or something — entirely different for the night. But even if somebody is wearing a disguise, their attitude about Halloween still shines through. And whether you’re taking your kids trick-or-treating yourself or just letting them go solo while you hand out candy, there are a few categories of parents you’re definitely going to run into.

The “Extra” Parents

These parents won’t just have a decorated front porch. They’ll have a soundtrack: either spooky music or haunted house sounds. Their yard will be transformed into a cemetery with foam headstones that say names like “I.M. Dedd”. They’ll have faux spiderwebs draped from every surface that faux spiderwebs can possibly stick to. Maybe even a fog machine. Probably a plastic skeleton posed in a chair. Someone will definitely pop up out of a coffin — or, at the very least, they’ll answer the door bedecked in a Halloween costume fit for a scary movie. These parents love Halloween. It’s their Super Bowl.

The Uneven Halloweeners

It’s easy to spot Uneven Halloweeners: one will be in a full-on costume, and the other will not. These parents have polar opposite feelings about Halloween, and it shows. One is dressed up in a thoughtfully put-together ensemble, while their partner is wearing jeans and a hoodie and looks like they’ve been forced to come trick-or-treating (because they probably have been). The costumed parent comes to the door with the kids, while the other one hangs back in the street, hands jammed into pockets, grudgingly being a good sport — because they’d really rather be doing other things.

The Coordinating Costumers

On the opposite end of the spectrum, we’ve got the Coordinating Costumers, whose entire family is not only dressed up, but dressed up as a theme. They’re Pokémon characters or various circus performers or something cute like “breakfast” where one parent is bacon, the other parent is eggs, the bigger kid is a piece of toast and the baby is an adorable little pat of butter. There was clearly a lot of thought and effort put into this (and you just know they had a spreadsheet). One family member doesn’t like the chosen theme? Too bad. They look like they’re ready to win the grand prize at a costume contest … and honestly, they probably would.

The Surreptitious Sippers

These parents probably pull their kids around in a wagon with cupholders — because they’re both carrying a beverage, and there’s pretty much a 100% chance that whatever’s in that Stanley tumbler is spiked. Is it cider? Is it cocoa? Is it just straight whiskey? You can never tell. But one thing is for certain: they’re taking full advantage of the fact that trick-or-treating involves walking instead of driving. Bottoms up!

The Low-Effort Parents

You’ll know these parents by the plastic bowl of candy with a sign that reads “Take One” next to their abandoned front porch … devoid of jack-o-lanterns, of course. Answering the door a million times is for chumps. Their idea of “going all out” is wearing a headband with cat ears left over from a bachelorette party (don’t ask) — maybe with some whiskers hastily drawn on with eyeliner if they’re feeling motivated — or slapping on an eye patch with their regular clothes. The low-effort parents really couldn’t give a flying fig about Halloween, but celebrate (and I use the term loosely) only because they have kids and it’s tradition.

The Health-Conscious Household

Handing out candy is not an option for these parents — sugar is toxic, food dye is the devil, and sweets are just cavities waiting to happen. You’re getting an apple, buddy! Or a pencil. Or a Halloween-themed eraser. Or a teeny container of bubbles. Whatever it is, it’ll definitely be gluten-free. The health-conscious household might let their kids go trick-or-treating so they don’t miss out, but then make them trade all their candy in for a toy or leave it for the Sweet-Swapping Fairy or some such thing.

The Politeness Police

“Say thank you!” is the repeated mantra of these parents. Their kids are gonna be respectful, dammit. The Politeness Police are the parents who remind their children at every house to walk on the sidewalk, not cut through the yard. They ask their kids after each stop, “Did you say thank you?” — and if the kid forgot, they march them back up to the door to offer the forgotten thanks and pay for their blatant disrespect. Either that or they hover closely behind their trick-or-treater like a Halloween hummingbird, hissing “Don’t forget to say ‘thank you!'” before the poor kid has a chance to get it out of his mouth. “Trick or treat, smell my feet?” Not on these parents’ watch.

The “It’s for the Baby” Parents

You won’t find these parents hanging back in the street. They come up to every door — because their kid is too young to walk there themselves. As a matter of fact, their kid is too young to do … well, pretty much anything except look cute in a size 3-month costume as they sleep peacefully in their stroller, oblivious to the Halloween hubbub going on around them. “Trick or treat!” the parents trill on the baby’s behalf, since the baby is too busy snoozing through the event they’re too young to remember anyway. Maybe they just couldn’t wait to share the festivities with their offspring — but more likely, they just want to load up on candy “for the baby” that they’ll eat every single piece of themselves. Because we all know the only thing going in that baby’s mouth at this age is a nipple, not a Now and Later.

The Trick-or-Talkers

If the kids of these parents look bored, it’s because they are … since they’ve been hanging out at the same house for 20 minutes while their folks shoot the sh*t. These parents seem to know absolutely everyone, and they use trick-or-treating as an excuse to catch up with every homeowner within a two-mile radius. Like politicians, they go door to door ready to chat up anyone who answers. Is there a better time to talk about work, weather, city ordinances, extended family, couponing, car repairs, and the price of candy than Halloween? Well actually, yes there is — but you wouldn’t know it judging by these parents.

The world needs all types, and Halloween wouldn’t be nearly as fun if everyone celebrated in the same manner. In the end, everybody comes away with candy, so it’s a win (OK, some people come away with apples and toothbrushes, but I digress). No matter what kind of Halloween parent you are, own it proudly!

Sound embarrassingly unsexy? That’s the point. My awkward anecdotes are a much better deterrent than a laughable “This is your brain on drugs” PSA or a tough-talking Scared Straight rant. There’s absolutely nothing romantic about my tales. I just come off like a loser. No wonder she’s the Saffy to my Edina.

Or, to be clear, former Edina. And while I was a pretty wild adolescent, there were lines I wouldn’t cross … or snort. At 15, I agreed to hold on to my boyfriend’s crack (he claimed that as a minor, cops weren’t allowed to search me — yes, I was naïve too!), but I refused to smoke it with him. Two of my other teenage boyfriends did heroin, but I wouldn’t even sniff it, let alone shoot up. And all my friends who did acid insisted I was way too high-strung to have a good trip. So, though I had easy access to just about anything, I mainly stuck to weed and beer.

But even that got tired fast. I stopped smoking pot at 19. I was at a party, and RuPaul was there. I used to joke that I’d only go back to drugs if I could do a harder substance with a bigger celebrity. But the truth was, driving back to college from the East Village that night, my friends and I were so stoned we almost got into a serious car wreck. Worse, my reaction was an entirely-inappropriate “Whoa!” The next day I vowed to take a break. Same with drinking. At 26, after a particularly messy night at a club ended with me cheating on my then-boyfriend in a nasty bathroom, I decided I was too old for such drama. So, I took a break from alcohol, too.

Decades later, I’ve never gone back. I haven’t even been tempted, thanks in part to my husband. We met in our late twenties and he told me almost immediately that, while he liked to dress up and wear makeup and party all the time, he didn’t drink or do drugs. In fact, due to addiction running in his family, he’s never even had a sip of alcohol. He figures, why risk it?

He’s carried that attitude over to how we parent our daughter, believing that we can raise a teetotaler (he prefers that antiquated word to “straight edge” because he thinks most of those bands suck). But I take a more pragmatic approach. Although I don’t think she has experimented so far, I remember how much drugs and alcohol were an everyday part of my socializing at her age. There will inevitably come a day (or curiosity-filled night) when she will be offered drugs or alcohol. I don’t want her thinking that chugging a beer or smoking a joint — two activities that are totally legal for adults in our state — will mean her downfall. But I hope she feels like saying no is an option.

I am open and honest with her about my experiences because I want her to be open and honest about hers. While my husband can speak to the challenges of loving someone who struggles with drugs or alcohol, he has no idea what doing them feels like. So, it’s left to me to tell her about my sloppy nights and my regrets. The passport and many wallets I lost. The school I got kicked out of. The men I never should have slept with. The STD I shouldn’t have gotten. Did I have some fun times? Sure. But they had little to do with being drunk or high. I only figured that out once I stopped. Maybe she’ll learn that before she even starts. I’ll be here to talk with her either way.

These celebrity moms may use weed to help them with that daily juggle.

It should go without saying that if your kid has some sort of medical problem or allergy, and eating too much Halloween candy would be extremely detrimental or even life-threatening for some reason, then yes, by all means, restrict the candy. But for parents whose concern is just sugar overload, can’t you hang up your nutrition police badge for one special occasion and share in the joy of (mostly) uninhibited candy consumption?

After all, this is a holiday that’s predominantly about candy. It’s the whole reason kids get dressed up and go door to door. Sure, costumes are fun, but face it — they’re secondary to the thrill of the Halloween sugar rush. I have fond and vivid memories of my own childhood Halloweens: the older I got, the more ground I could cover in one night, which meant a bringing in a triumphant haul that I ceremoniously dumped onto the floor as soon as I got home, sorting, organizing, and negotiating trades with friends and siblings. And even since becoming a mom, I’ve always been thrilled at the parental privilege of the “candy tax,” wherein I cherry-pick a few of my own favorites from each of my kids’ buckets “because I’m the mom, that’s why.” Plus, no one can deny the sweetness — no pun intended — of your kids knowing your favorite candies and deliberately saving them for you; they’re always so proud that they can give you this gift.

My kids are older now, a tween and three teens, and if they trick-or-treat I don’t restrict their candy intake (partially because I gave up on providing them with optional nutrition once ramen noodles became a food group; I just toss a multivitamin at them each day and hope for the best). But even when they were much younger, I had very few rules around Halloween candy. Really, the only one I stuck to was my no-candy-before-school policy … just so I wasn’t the a-hole who sent her kids to school all hopped up on sugar (you’re welcome, teachers). Otherwise, if they wanted to have some as an after school snack? Fine. An after-dinner treat? Sure. A few pieces just because? Go for it. I found that without restrictions, they tended to be pretty responsible with it on their own. I never once found any of them sitting beside an empty Halloween bucket and a heaping pile of wrappers, looking bloated and nauseous. In fact, more often than not, we’d go into Thanksgiving — and then into December — with a sizable stash of candy still left … leaving me to wonder if they’d notice if Santa slipped some into their stockings.

According to an ongoing survey by Today Parents, my relaxed candy policy is in a small minority; only about 16% of respondents said they let their kids have free rein when it comes to their candy. The largest share — 45% — say their kids get all of it, but in rationed amounts, while 36% say their kids are allowed to eat only “some of it.” (One piece of candy and zero pieces of candy came in at 1% and 2%, respectively.)

Strict monitoring of my kids’ food intake of any sort has never been the hill I wanted to die on, but maybe I was onto something when it comes to giving them unfettered access to their Halloween treats. “The bottom line: Restrictive control tactics around candy, along with polarizing language about candy, can not only cause children to feel more preoccupied with candy, but it can create fear, guilt and shame for wanting and eating these foods,” writes nutritionist Crystal Karges for Motherly. “The goal is not to avoid giving them candy. Rather, we want to help them have a healthy, non-obsessive relationship with candy. We want them to be able to eat and enjoy candy when the opportunity arises in an amount that feels best for them … and then move on with their lives!”

Parenting is a whole bunch of saying no. Sometimes I feel like a professional wet blanket, denying my kids this and that for their own good — which is largely my job as a parent, I know, but that doesn’t make it any easier. Halloween, though, is the one night of the year where my kids can build those sweet and sticky memories of being wealthy with the currency of childhood: candy. And when I can finally say yes, because it’s a special occasion … and be the fun mom for once.

These celebrity parents wore coordinating Halloween costumes with their families.

As pumpkin spice continues to run rampant — maybe a little too rampant (Seriously, has anybody else seen those pumpkin spice tortilla chips? Calm yourselves) — it’s time we admit it: Halloween season is finally here. And you know what that means: treats and tricks, boo baskets … and pumpkin-carving with some of the best jack-o’-lantern templates out there.

Maybe your Halloween tradition is to carve a single pumpkin, set out a bowl of candy, and watch from the window as all the tiny witches and ghosts clamor on your porch steps. Maybe you go for a full-blown haunted house, make a holiday treat, and have officially listed pumpkin carving as a special skill on your resume. Or maybe you’re a fan of watching kid-friendly Halloween movies, reading Halloween stories with the kids, and sending them off for trick-or-treating with their friends while you turn off all the lights and pretend no one is home.

However you do Halloween, if pumpkin carving is on the agenda, chances are you could use some inspiration (we know we could).

We’ve rounded up over 100 pumpkin-carving templates and patterns for Halloween to make sure your spooky squashes get oohed and aahed by trick-or-treaters of all ages. From classic to modern, easy to difficult, we’ve got something for everyone — and every skill level. (Need even more? Check out our adorable dog breed pumpkin-carving templates too!)

Once you’ve picked the perfect jack-o-lantern face, how you carve your pumpkin is up to you. Whatever utensil you use — serrated knife, linoleum cutter, X-acto knife — just make sure your kiddos aren’t handling them unsupervised (unless it’s this pumpkin carving kit just for kids)! An ice cream scoop makes getting those guts a simple task, and a thin coating of petroleum jelly on the cut areas helps seal in moisture to make it last longer.

So browse our selection of free pumpkin carving templates (just download and print ’em), roll up your sleeves, squish some pumpkin guts, and get ready to brag — because these templates are absolutely spooktacular.

A version of this article was originally published in March 2014.

If your child has a serious food allergy or sensitivities, you probably know how disappointing it can be for them to feel left out of Halloween traditions, like collecting candy and eating the treats that other kids get to indulge in each holiday season. The good news is that you can do a few things to make it easier for your child to enjoy themselves and feel included.

This Halloween, try these 5 tips for a safe, fun, and allergen-free trick-or-treating experience:

1. Host an allergen-free trick-or-treat event

While trick-or-treating can be challenging with food allergies, it’s still a super-fun event that every child should experience. Food allergies and sensitivities are, unfortunately, becoming increasingly more common, so your child probably has many classmates and neighborhood buddies who are also dealing with this difficulty. Why not organize a special trick-or-treat with pre-approved treats and a map of neighborhood participants? Or a trick-or-treat candy potluck party where participants all bring their own assortment of allergen-free treats? At the very least, it can’t hurt to inform neighbors of your child’s allergies and hope they offer a few allergen-free candy options.

2. Trade candy instead of banning allergens

A week before Halloween, let your child pick out a few movie-theater-sized boxes of their favorite candies. This way, your child knows that for every candy they receive on Halloween that they can’t have, there is an even better substitute waiting for them at home.

Then, let your child pick a few friends that they will give their extra candies to as a present. If it’s reciprocated, even better! Forcing your child to give their siblings the forbidden candies can cause tension, but if your child wants to do this, let them distribute it to their brothers and sisters as a fun activity.

3. Make trick-or-treating about giving, not receiving

If your child’s allergies are so severe that they cannot even touch suspect candies, try including them in the process of trick-or-treating by having them distribute treats to neighbors instead. This can be a great tradition and can help your child learn that giving can be just as fun as receiving. Spend time baking cookies with your child, or helping them pick out a treat at the store, and then give them out to your favorite neighbors.

4. Gamify detecting allergens

Sorting out the candies your child can and cannot eat can seem like an accidental punishment, especially if they are young. While you could take your child’s candy and do this for them, it can be a great learning experience for them to identify the candies they cannot eat and teach them what they should avoid in the future. Make a game out of sorting the candy into groups, and award prizes if they identify a certain number of candies they can’t eat. You could even let your child guess how many candies will be in the “allergic” pile at the end of the night, and award them for guessing correctly.

5. Try offering toys instead of candy

For some kids, candy just isn’t a feasible option. Maybe you’re afraid of cross-contamination, don’t allow processed sugars, or simply want a healthier option. So why not go for fun, budget-friendly, non-food options that align with the invention of the “Boo Basket?”

You can let them trade their candy for a toy to cut down on sweets, or to allow them a fun option for trading in the candies they are allergic to without feeling like they are losing anything. You might find that even children who don’t have allergies will be a fan of this arrangement!

While trick-or-treating can be harder for kids with food allergies and sensitivities, there are plenty of creative things you can do as a parent to make sure your child not only stays safe, but also has a fun Halloween. Whether you decide to host your own special event or adapt the tradition to meet your child’s unique needs, these five tips will make it easier to take the food-allergy-fright out of even the spookiest Hallows Eve.

Build a Halloween ‘Boo Basket’ with treats starting at $4.

I was first introduced to connective and gentle parenting through the adoption community. Several parents were swearing by the techniques taught by Dr. Karyn Purvis. Purvis was well-known as the person who coined the term ‘children from hard places’ — which describes children she worked with who “suffered trauma, abuse, neglect or other adverse conditions early in life.” Purvis was committed to earning their trust, building deep emotional connections, in order to anchor and empower children. Her methods not only worked for children from difficult circumstances, but also for children who weren’t.

How is this possible? After all, many of us were raised on old-school parenting that we don’t believe caused us immense harm. We learned to respect our parents, teachers, and coaches, right? Standing in the corner, getting an occasional spanking, being grounded from television or going out with friends, and time outs weren’t the end of the world. Why shouldn’t we do the same for our kids?

The more I learned about gentle, connective parenting, the more I realized how “traditional” parenting simply doesn’t work in the long run. Traditional or old-school parenting was about parents getting what they wanted, as fast as possible.

In fact, good old-fashioned parenting is downright exhausting for parents and confusing for kids. Plus, my husband and I have four children, which is a lot of behaviors and consequences to keep up with. No, thanks.

We evolved our parenting as we learned how a child’s brain works and develops. Kids yearn for the same things adults do: acceptance, empathy, second chances, a listening ear, support, problem-solving assistance, and of course, unconditional love. Old-school parenting didn’t supply any of these. Instead, it was very much authoritarian, cause-and-effect (without reflection), and punishments unrelated to the crime. In essence, old-school parenting takes more work for less reward.

Dr. Candice Jones, mom of two, pediatrician, and host of “KIDing Around With Dr. Candice” is supportive of connective parenting. In fact, she wrote an entire book with a strong gentle parenting vibe called High-Five Discipline: Positive Parenting For Happy, Healthy, Well-Behaved Kids. Dr. Jones told She Knows that old-school parenting which focuses on punishment “falls short.” It doesn’t teach “children how to make better behavioral choices for themselves in the future.”

She also adds that we must understand what discipline actually means. Discipline “means to teach, not punish or control.” Parenting “in a positive, instructive, and connected way” works. Managing misbehavior can also be managed using this approach as well. Our kids don’t get away with murder (lying, stealing, screaming, or anything else); instead, they learn to make amends, express their feelings, and do better next time.

Read that again. Discipline is about guiding, assisting, and teaching — not turning our kids into obedient robots who sacrifice their own feelings in order to appease adults. Yes, our kids must learn rules and how to follow them, but they need our help in doing so. In steps gentle, connective, positive parenting.

When your tween repeatedly fails to turn in their homework, for example, you can lecture and then take away their cell phone for two weeks. However, we know that our tween is going to tune out of our lecture and taking their cell phone away is unrelated to not submitting homework. Plus, launching into a rant about responsibility and distractibility isn’t going to teach your child any lessons.

You might be wondering what you can do in this situation? Gentle, connective parenting would have us asking our child to tell us what happened and how they felt. What was causing them to be distracted or forgetful? What could be done next time? They’ve likely already been issued a consequence by the school. Your job isn’t to over-punish. Your job is to get to the “why” behind their actions and help the child problem solve for next time, perhaps deciding together how they can be more proactive.

When we gave our oldest two children cell phones, we co-created rules with them. These were very clear, fair, and written on paper. We also had a conversation about consequences. If the rules were broken, what did our kids think would be an appropriate consequence that would help them “reset” and do better next time? The kids agreed that they might need a cell phone break for an infraction. Removing the phone might feel like a punishment, but it was actually an opportunity to take a step back and then reflect on making a better decision next time.

Many times, when practicing connective, gentle parenting, the consequence is quite natural. In our home, if a child damages another’s belonging, they use their allowance to replace the item. If they damage something in our home, they help repair it, alongside a parent. None of this involves yelling, threats, or random consequences. Parenting in a gentle, positive way is a huge relief for parents, because it’s mostly drama-free. (I say mostly, because kids are never going to love consequences — but consequences are good for kids!)

I should note that a consequence is never issued until the child-parent relationship is in a good place. The infraction is discussed once the child and parent are calm and in a ready-to-chat mindset. The child has an equal say in repairing the situation, and their feelings are always valid. They are allowed to be frustrated or disappointed, for example; we hold space for that. However, no matter the feeling, they are still held accountable for their choices. This is also a great time, if not pre-established, to ask the child what they think the next step should be. Sometimes it’s as simple as an apology.

I know that some parents feel that gentle parenting isn’t setting a kid up to thrive in the real world. After all, the real world can be harsh, swift to “punish.” However, I argue that parenting in a way that centers trust and attachment between the parent and child teaches a child so many valuable life skills. Kids learn to regulate themselves so that they can make better decisions. They learn to negotiate, self-reflect, problem-solve, and voice their feelings (instead of bottling them up or having parents pretend they don’t matter). Of course, parents need to model these things — it’s no good to talk the talk but not walk the walk themselves.

You might be thinking this all sounds great, but how? How is a parent supposed to practice this type of parenting, especially when they were raised very differently? Thankfully, there are lots of wonderful resources, including Dr. Jones’ podcast and book. I also recommend No Drama Discipline by Dr. Daniel Siegel. There are some fabulous gentle parents on Instagram and TikTok who offer short videos and captions on how to practice connective parenting across all ages and situations.

Gentle parenting isn’t just about discipline. Gentle parenting is about acknowledging, supporting, encouraging, and guiding our kids in all times — good and bad. It’s about spending quality time with them and listening non-judgmentally. It’s about validating their feelings and sharing ideas. This doesn’t mean you aren’t the parent and your child isn’t the child. Practicing parenting that is mutually respectful is far more meaningful than focusing on random discipline.

Positive parenting is not a lack of discipline, nor is it spoiling or creating entitled children. Instead, positive parenting is about empowering kids to have a voice, to work through their feelings, to use their words and bodies respectfully, and learning that adults can be trusted to help them problem-solve and try again. Adults aren’t a threat. They are a coach … and a soft place to land.