Over the last decade, SheKnows has had an ongoing series of discussions with members of Gen Z to gauge how they feel about serious and substantial topics such as politics, gender and racial equality, and women’s rights. We’ve checked in with them as they’ve grown from energetic kids to insightful teens to young adults poised to make their mark on the world. These evolving conversations have provided a fascinating glimpse into their opinions over the years, but more importantly, how they’re feeling now that they’re old enough to vote — and playing a pivotal part in choosing our next President.

Gen Z Voters: By the Numbers — & Beyond

Nearly half of Gen Z voters (45 percent in the general electorate and 47 percent of newly eligible voters) are people of color, making Gen Z more racially and ethnically diverse than previous generations. But their diversity isn’t all that sets them apart — not by a long shot. Gen Z has spent their teen and young adult years trying to navigate a complex web of interconnected crises, including systemic racism, gender-based violence, crippling student debt, and erosion of reproductive and gender rights, set against the ominous backdrop of climate change. They’ve seen only elections that feel polarizing and divisive, if not downright hostile. Older members of Gen Z report feeling disillusioned by the surge of negativity, misinformation, and harmful rhetoric that has dominated the past three election cycles; they’re tired and cynical, skeptical of each party’s true intentions.

Because of this, the resulting fear and uncertainty that many Gen Z-ers feel for their future has made them especially engaged in social activism, and deeply connected to the causes they’re passionate about. “They lean less into party divisions and are particularly motivated by the issues,” Emily Slatkow, communications director for the progressive youth voting organization NextGen America, said in an article for NBC News.

A recent survey revealed that almost one-third of Gen Z (32 percent) report being regularly active in social justice work, as opposed to just 24 percent of millennials — a number that goes up to roughly 40 percent among college-aged Gen Zers. For 62 percent of Gen Z activists, moral conviction is the top driver; they’re compelled by a deep sense of what is right. Another key motivator, cited by over half, is a personal connection — either their own experiences or those of close friends and family — which sparks their passion for specific social causes.

Back in 2020, a Pew Survey found that 22 percent of registered voters aged 18 to 23 — the oldest members of Gen Z — approved of how Donald Trump was handling his job as President, while about three-quarters disapproved (77 percent). In a September 2024 survey by NBC News, half of Gen Z voters say they’re planning to vote for Vice President Kamala Harris in November, while one-third say they’ll vote for former President Donald Trump; still a bigger gap for Harris, but not quite the majority seen in the 2020 election. The Fall 2024 Harvard Youth Poll, conducted by the Institute of Politics (IOP) at the Harvard Kennedy School, saw Harris leading Trump by a large margin — 64 percent versus 32 percent among likely voters.

Interestingly, while both genders are leaning heavily toward Harris, the rate of female support has far surpassed males; the gender gap, which stood at 17 points in the Spring poll, has nearly doubled and is now at 30 points. “There is this unprecedented gap in Gen Z, in the under 30s, in terms of political affiliation and voting intention. But it’s also worth emphasizing that more of that gap may be driven by the move of young women to the left than it is of young men to the right, Richard V. Reeves, author of the book Of Boys and Men: Why the Modern Male Is Struggling, Why It Matters, and What to Do About It, told SheKnows. “I think that for most young men it’s actually more a question of feeling quite politically homeless. They don’t see much on the left for them, for sure. And I don’t necessarily think they’re wrong about that.”

But if talk doesn’t turn into action, none of these statistics will matter one iota, which brings us to the biggest question: Will Gen Z show up at the polls? According to the Harvard Youth Poll, absolutely. “Fifty-six percent of young Americans tell us they plan to ‘definitely’ vote in the upcoming election,” the findings state. “Among registered voters, the number rises to 72 percent.” This number has been bolstered by the surprising mid-race candidate swap. Before Harris took over as the Democratic nominee, Gen Z’s motivation to vote was much more lukewarm. “What I’m hearing from my generation, or my peers, is that people aren’t going to vote at all because they’re not feeling satisfied or represented by either of the big options,” Amelia, 21, told SheKnows prior to Biden’s departure from the race. Now, it’s a totally different story.

“Much of this increased enthusiasm among [Gen Z] Democrats is tied to Kamala Harris as their party’s nominee,” says the Harvard Poll. “More than four-in-five (81 percent) of Harris supporters in a direct match-up with Trump are enthusiastic about voting for her, nearly doubling the 43 percent of Biden supporters who said the same in March.” It can’t hurt that Harris’s campaign has intentionally set out to appeal largely to Gen Z voters; after all, teens do spend an average of 8.5 hours a day on screens, swiping through their social media.

The enthusiasm for Harris may be renewed, but it certainly isn’t new. “I hope that a woman could one day be President. I hope that a person of color could be President again,” Gen Z panelist Reed told us in 2020. “And I think that one thing we need to address is this country’s issue with women in office.” And in the same year, fellow panelist Jack mused, almost prophetically, “I don’t know what’s going to happen in four years. I think [Kamala Harris] would be a good President. I’d support her. I’d be able to vote then.”

Well, folks, “then” is now — and it’s Gen Z’s time to be heard. Will they realize the full potential of their impact and turn out in record numbers to vote? It’s a question we’ve waited for the past 10 years to answer … and in two weeks, we’ll all know. In the meantime, watch the full video to see the evolution of these first-time voters.

Is this so wrong? When I polled a bunch of parents with newly minted college kids to see if they ever check their kids’ location, the responses were mixed. About one-third of the respondents shared that they “never” check (transparently, one of them was my husband, which I think is hilarious since he has no problem with me giving him updates) but most said they definitely still do — although less frequently than they may have at home.

“I track my kids with Find My iPhone,” said one mom. “They know it and I have no problem with it. If they end up in a ditch on the side of the road I need to find them. The end.” Another mom said, “My daughter (college sophomore) not only shares her location on Life360 with me, but her friend groups share locations with each other!”

So clearly, I’m not alone. In fact, a cross-sectional study of over 700 college and university students published in the Journal of Adolescence found that “digital location tracking is a fairly common practice among college students, with nearly half of the sample endorsing currently or previously being digitally location tracked by their parent/caregiver.” 

But is it healthy? Yes and no, says Debbie Ferraro, LCSW, PMH-C, and a women’s therapist in private practice in New York City who works closely with moms of college kids. Parents are certainly used to checking up on their kids in this way, and it’s a hard habit to break. The important change as kids head off to college, she says, is to talk it through.

“Typically, as late adolescents transition into college, I recommend having a conversation around how to navigate this together in order to come to a shared understanding and clear boundaries for all,” Ferraro tells SheKnows. “Even if your young person doesn’t seem to have a strong boundary around this, it is important to acknowledge to them that there may be some checking happening, as this is an opportunity to keep the lines of communication open. Again, this is a way of maintaining and building trust in the relationship, which is what you want to preserve through this life phase and beyond.”

A “conversation” can be as informal as a dinner table mention: “I’m planning to keep Life360 going while you’re away — is that OK? I just want to be able to make myself feel better that you’re home safe now and again.” (Or whatever your personal reasoning might be.)

But be prepared for objections. Ferraro says that kids heading to college are smack dab in the middle of an important growth period called “separation and individuation.” This involves pushing back on parental involvement in a variety of ways, she says. It’s completely normal, and if your kid objects to your checking their whereabouts, that’s a developmentally appropriate response.

It’s also one you should heed, Ferraro adds. Even though according to Life360’s own study, 94 percent of Gen Zs polled say they benefit from location sharing, your kid may bristle at this notion and ask you not to. If this happens — abide. It doesn’t mean you can’t raise the subject again later, but for now, resist the urge to remind your kid the only reason they’re going to college in the first place is because you’re paying for it, their phone, and their food … and instead see how you feel when you delete the app.

There’s also such a thing as too much parent checking, cautions Ferraro. If it starts to interfere with your life — say, if you can’t fall asleep until you see that your kid is safely back in their dorm every night — that’s an issue. If this is the case, here’s your gentle reminder that this is a “you” problem, and you should seek out a trained therapist who can work with you on fixing it.

That being said, it’s important to acknowledge that this transition is a huge adjustment for us as parents, too, says Ferraro. And if we haven’t quite gotten into the groove of how much checking is too much checking, it will come. (I mean, our parents didn’t have Life360 when we left the house, and we turned out fine … for the most part.) Most of the parents with older college kids I spoke to don’t location-track much at all these days.

As for my own newbie college kid? Luckily for me, she has zero issues being occasionally tracked. In fact, over the first few weeks, she also made sure I had her email login, her school registration password, and her ATM pin — none of which I asked for — presumably so I could help her stay on top of things. However your kid feels about it, give yourself grace, and focus on the important things: like making sure they’re actually coming home for Thanksgiving!

Before you go, check out where your favorite celeb parents are sending their kids to college.

If you’ve been voting for a while, you might be seeing a lot of messaging this time of year around making sure your voter registration is up-to-date. But if you’ve got an 18-year-old in your life, you have some more homework on your hands this election season. In the event that your kid isn’t already one of those politically-active Gen Z types, this task could be difficult. We’d like to give you a little help with that.

If your teenager is reluctant or apathetic about the upcoming election, you’re not alone. Young voter turnout is notoriously low if improving. Tufts estimated that 50 percent of young people ages 18-29 voted in the 2020 presidential election, which is a significant jump from just 39 percent in the 2016 presidential election.

“In interviews with dozens of young people, we found that many of them lacked confidence in themselves and their ability to navigate the voting process for the first time,” John Holbein, assistant professor of public policy and education at the University of Virginia, wrote in the Conversation ahead of the 2020 presidential election. “Many told us that in their busy, hectic, and ever-changing schedules, voting often simply falls by the wayside.

“Simply put, many young people want to participate, care about what happens in the political arena, and plan to participate,” Holbein continued, “but they find doing so too big of a hassle to actually follow through on their good intentions.”

Holbein suggests that the easiest way to fix this problem is to make voter registration easier, which is happening in some states that have same-day voter registration. At the moment, however, we’ve got to get to help these kids register ASAP — before those laws can change.

Find an issue that motivates them

The youth-led gun-sense group Students Demand Action (an offshoot of Everytown for Gun Safety and Moms Demand Action) has been holding voter registration drives and has resources for teens who want to hold their own drive.

Students Demand Action volunteer Alanna Miller, a then second-year student at Duke University, gave us a few tips on how she gets other young people to register ahead of the 2020 presidential election:

“When registering other young voters, I remind them that our generation has grown up in the midst of our country’s gun-violence crisis,” she told SheKnows via email. “And of course, now, the recent police killings of George Floyd and Breonna Taylor, and the shooting of Jacob Blake and so many others have added even more urgency to conversations around police violence as part of gun violence, and their disproportionate impact on Black people in America. Young people are eager to elect leaders who will do something about gun violence and police violence.”

The key to her approach is explaining that the youth vote can really make a difference if they turn out.

“Young voters who are motivated to end gun violence in America should know that there is room for change … ” she said. “Gun violence prevention consistently ranks as a top issue for young voters, so we know if young voters get registered, and turn out to vote, we can be a huge force … “

Find out what issues are really important to your teen, and then do the research together on what elected officials have said about it. They may have taken in rhetoric about politicians not caring and everyone being “the same,” but it’s up to you to talk about how that’s not the case. Look at local politics and laws that have been passed that directly impact your lives and discuss how your city, state, and U.S. representatives have acted — or haven’t — in your interest. Then look at a ballot and see how the people running this year might change that or might be inclined to listen once they’re in office.

Physically help them register

As Holbein wrote, many people feel like registering to vote is a huge headache, and it really doesn’t have to be. Head over to RocktheVote.org or Vote.org for multiple ways to register. Help them gather the information they’ll need for your state like their social security number, driver’s license, or ID number. You may be able to do everything online, but if something needs to be printed and mailed, you should have that prepared too. Anything you can do to smooth the way for them is great, and this is one time when no one will mind you helping a teen with their homework — just so long as they choose their own party affiliation (if any) and sign their names themselves.

Get Them Some Voting Swag

Some sweet voting merch from places like Etsy and UncommonGoods could be exactly what your teen needs to get in the patriotic spirit, register to vote, and then actually show up to the polls.

Do it on time

Voter registration deadlines vary by state and by each registration method. For instance, some states have different deadlines for voters who are registering in person versus online or by mail. Some states offer day-of registration, but make sure you have all your papers in order if your young voter plans to register at the polls on Nov. 5.

Prepare the next round of voters

Parenting expert and psychologist Reena B. Patel has a few tips for how to raise voters from a very young age. First, you need to be a role model by voting yourself and talking about who you’re voting for and why. Then talk about politics on a large and small scale.

“Talk with your child about how you handle disagreements in your home,” she said. “Politics can get heated, and it is important to let your child know that at the end of the day we come together for a bigger cause.”

And if the adults in our government can’t also figure out that particular lesson, we can vote them out!

Welcome to Better Sex With Dr. Lexx, a monthly column where sex therapist, educator, and consultant Dr. Lexx Brown-James shares expertise, advice, and wisdom about sex, relationships, and more. Approaching education about sex as a life-long endeavor — “from womb to tomb” — Dr. Lexx (AKA The #CouplesClinician) is your guide to the shame-free, medically accurate, inclusive and comprehensive conversations for you, your partner and your whole family. 

Nowadays our children have access to an astounding amount of information through social media and the internet, and with all this access comes learning, angst, and exploration for both parents and children. Children are learning more about themselves earlier and earlier, while parents are working hard to keep up while keeping their children safe, growing, and successful — however they define it. All in all, it’s no easy feat. 

As a family therapist and sexologist, I have often sat in a therapy room with children and teens who are seeking to learn (and often express) more about themselves. These sessions often include sharing what they discover and learn about their identity, of which sexuality may be a big part. Coming out to family can be a huge step in trust for youth, and the experience can be complicated, intimidating, and shocking for parents and caregivers as they take in this new information. I find that youth are not just sharing something important about themselves; in the same breath, they’re also asking if their parent still loves them.

I want to offer you a few ways to love the youth in your life who are coming out as LGBTQ+, even if you yourself are feeling all the feels.

Take a deep breath and calm down.

Your child is trusting you with information that can be scary, and yet, it is vitally important to them and who they are. They (probably) have known this information longer than you, so it makes sense for you to feel shocked. They might have even gone through great lengths to hide this part of themselves from you — so, shock is normal. To show you love your child, take a moment to express gratitude that they’ve shared this pivotal insight into who they are. You are a chosen person for them, someone they’re looking to for acceptance, protection, and love. This is a place of honor, even if it doesn’t feel like it right away.

“You are a chosen person for them who they are looking to for acceptance, protection and love. This is a place of honor, even if it doesn’t feel like it right away.”

Be gentle with yourself.

There is this unseen pressure that comes with parenting. We’re expected to see and know everything about who our children are and who they will be. There’s also that feeling that everything our children do and become is directly correlated with how we are as parents.

It’s important to remember that when a child comes out, there is nothing anyone did wrong. There is nothing a parent can do to make their child straight, gay, bi, trans, or any other identity.

You’re going to grieve and you’re going to learn more.

Most often, when kids come out, I hear about parents grieving the loss of future plans they hold. When a child comes out, it can feel that those plans of marriage, becoming grandparents, or even meeting their child’s significant other are no longer accessible. The truth is, these things happen for people in the LGBTQ+ community too. It might look a little different, take a bit of science, or take a different path than you initially imagined, but they can (and if the youth wants) hopefully will still happen.

If there is grief for you, it might help to grieve with other parents who have this same experience, or another adult your youth has shared this information with rather than lament to your child. Your image and expectations of your child’s life have possibly shifted and there might be time needed to adjust. It’s OK to take that time while showing your child love and acceptance.

It’s not just a phase and it’s not solely about intercourse.

There are so many misconceptions about sexual orientation and identity, it would take far too long to list them all. Here’s a simplification that I think is helpful.

Sexual orientation is who a person is attracted too. Sexual identity is who a person believes they are. Neither are specific to actual sexual behaviors. When your child comes out, it does not mean they have been sexually active or had sexual boundaries crossed. It simply means they know themselves and have found the courage to share it with you, a person they trust not to hurt or abandon them. Often, responses to the shock of someone coming out sound like “Well how do you know?” or “Who hurt you?” or even “This is just a phase. You’re too young to know for sure.”

“They very well might have a different step in their journey of self-identity in the future, what’s important is supporting and believing them as they are right now.”

Instead, support your child with love by uplifting their voice. Remember, your child has probably rehearsed telling you and gathered courage and hope in sharing this with you. Minimizing or dismissing this vulnerable space could leave them hurt and closed off. They very well might have a different step in their journey of self-identity in the future, but what’s important is supporting and believing them as they are right now.

Expand your knowledge. 

When a child comes out there is bound to be a bunch of questions. Remember, take a deep breath (or a few) and express gratitude, then take up the mantle to do some education. A few places to start your learning journey include PFLAG, Sex Positive Families and the Trevor Project. Each of these have information and support groups of parents looking for answers and ways to best support the youth in their lives. Any resource listed could be a place of learning for you. This way you can gain knowledge and ask questions without adding discomfort. Exploring these resources may even help you continue bonding with your child with new insight.

Sharing orientation and/or identity realizations can often come with a cost for youth. Alienation, shame, bullying, and even abandonment are all factors I have seen happen when youth share their identity with their parents. You can support them with love by centering their experiences, desires, and needs when they come out. They are trusting you with the gift of insight into their own realizations. And lastly, give yourself some grace and space to feel your feelings and learn new things. 

Before you go, read up on the best skincare products we recommend for teens:

The iconic 80-year-old director joined his 23-year-old daughter Francesca for a fun video on her TikTok in which she quizzed him on the meanings of various modern phrases. In all seriousness, it’s really adorable, and Scorsese may actually know more about Gen Z lingo than we do — on God.

The Wolf of Wall Street director nailed the meanings of several terms, though he was at a loss as to what some of them meant. He defined “tea” as when “you’re gonna tell all you know,” looking quite pleased with himself when Francesca confirmed that was correct.

Scorsese’s definition of “ick” was particularly funny. His daughter gave him an example sentence, saying, “He clapped when the plane landed and that gave me the ick.” Scorsese responded, “You were thoroughly repulsed by it,” which got a laugh out of Francesca, and us. He also nailed the meanings of “hits different,” “ate,” “cap,” “throw shade,” “slaps,” and “slay.”

As for the terms he didn’t know, the Goodfellas director wasn’t so sure what “sneaky link” meant. When Francesca told him, “It’s like a booty call,” he looked at her in genuine surprise and said, “Oh really?” So wholesomely hilarious.

He also didn’t quite grasp the concept of “shipping” someone. Francesca said, “I ship you and mom,” and Scorsese asked, “Like, take us around somewhere?” That earned another well-deserved laugh. Additionally, he defined a “simp” as “a person who’s whiny all the time,” which was equally as funny as the rest of his misses. He got far more terms right than wrong, proving he’s not just any basic dad.

Fellow TikTokers ate up the video just as much as we did. “Can’t believe we live in a world where I get to watch Martin Scorsese become familiar with the term sneaky link. Blessings,” one person commented. Another hilariously wrote, “he served i fear.” Someone else joked, “this is a massive contribution to cinema thank you @Francesca.”

He low-key slayed, no cap, on God — period.

These celebrity dads have the sweetest bonds with their daughters.

On Wednesday, the multihyphenate sat down with talk show host Hoda Kotb on TODAY to chat about her upcoming action movie, The Mother — so they of course had to talk about the ins and outs of motherhood at this stage in Lopez’s life. Of her 15-year-old twins, Max and Emme, Lopez remarked in a crazed voice, “They’re giving it to me!”

She continued, “Listen, they’re becoming adults. They are challenging everything in life. They’re looking at everything, and these kids have so much information — so much more than we had — so they’re thinking and talking about things and about life in a different way than I did when I was 15 or 16 years old,” the actress explained.

After Kotb expressed that she feels like their generation “followed the rules,” the “Let’s Get Loud” singer exclaimed, “Yes! And they don’t!”

A draft of Justice Alito’s opinion on the case that would see Roe v. Wade functionally struck down in the Supreme Court was leaked in early May, leading to alarm, outrage, and resigned sadness among people who have been watching abortion rights be attacked over the last few decades, and it was a highly emotional and stressful time. So we checked in with the group of young people we’ve been watching grow up through it all — our Hatch Kids — shortly after the opinion leaked to get a feel for where their heads and hearts were at while once again (maybe reluctantly) living through history. And, undeniably, it’s a vulnerable time for them, as these kids are actively witnessing the rights that their parents had during their reproductive years disappear as they reach young adulthood.

“The news about Roe v Wade made me angry because it felt regressive for our country,” one teen, Reed told us. “…It felt like an accomplishment of the past, like the right to birth control or women’s right to vote in America. It felt established…What’s scary is something that feels safe, something that feels like ‘Oh, this has already happened. We already won this,’ can be undone.”

As we look at the most recent data on young people and abortion access, the numbers show that young people in the 18-29 age range have the highest levels of support for safe and legal access to abortion. Per a recent report from the Pew Research center in early May, about 6 in 10 Americans (61 percent) say abortion should be legal in “all” or “most” cases, with almost 25 percent more young people favoring access. Members of Gen Z are significantly less likely to have so-called “moral objections” to abortion access as well, compared to their older counterparts.

“It felt established…What’s scary is something that feels safe, something that feels like ‘Oh, this has already happened. We already won this,’ can be undone.”

Per the Pew report: “Younger adults are considerably more likely than older adults to say abortion should be legal: Three-quarters of adults under 30 (74 percent) say abortion should be generally legal, including 30% who say it should be legal in all cases without exception.”

And, again, we’re talking about a generation that is on track to be one of the most well-educated ones we’ve ever seen. That’s clearly reflected in how teens talk about the last few decades of Supreme Court strategy (one of the most contentious political issues of recent years), and it reveals a deep understanding of the different power players, the various motivations, and the disillusionment with the idea of “playing nice in a broken system” that is not only failing to serve them but doing them harm. And when they come ready to discuss this topic, they come with facts, they come with stats, and they come with a deep sense of justice that feels contagious. 

“Personally I think it’s disgusting that women no longer have a right to bodily autonomy,” Gabrielle said. “But I also think that this decision was inevitable due to the packing of the courts by conservatives and the unwillingness of Democrats to fully talk about Roe and codify it into law when there were Democratic supermajorities.” Citing the politicians who ran on platforms of protecting Roe v. Wade only to become silent and inactive when it came time to actually protect it, she says that silence and willingness to use abortion rights as a bargaining chip with voters is “what made this current situation a reality because Democrats completely ignored the fundamental basic rights that Roe v. Wade protected.”

While the adults in their lives can’t do a lot by way of comfort or protection from rulings made by the highest federal courts, it’s important to remember that adults can always continue to make the space for young people’s feelings during these kinds of scary moments — and can and should continue to have conversations about reproductive rights, making informed and science-based reproductive healthcare decisions, and ways they can take action as young adults to continue to advocate for expanding and reclaiming those rights.

Before you go, check out the powerful stories of these celebs who opened up about their abortions: 

After all, these years are those crucial ones where young people are figuring out who they are and who they’re going to be in terms of their romantic lives and relationships — and the disruptions this particular generation of teens has encountered will inevitably become a big part of their identities.

“Teens are literally defining themselves and finding their group identity — who they wanna be among others,” Dr. Lexx Brown-James, a couple’s clinician and therapist (and SheKnows’ resident sex columnist) says. “The pandemic interrupted that process so teens aren’t having the chance to engage with peers in the same way and learn about their morals, values and social skills as they have been able to pre-pandemic. This hits romantically as well: teens aren’t able to feel one another out, practice in person consent, or experience intimacy in the same ways.”

Teens not having this time in a traditional way (i.e. IRL, tactile, with a full view of one another’s faces and no anxiety of getting themselves or their loved ones sick), has led to some serious lags in their development and their ability to take the kind of “calculated risks” that allow them to safely explore these parts of themselves, sex educator, speaker and writer Dr. Logan Levkoff tells SheKnows.

“The hallmark of adolescence is defined by identifying, expressing, and figuring out how to navigate this thing that is critically important to your life called your sexuality,” Levkoff says. “You know, all of these moments in adolescence where you take risks, calculated risks — whether those are emotional risks or even things like physical risks, which is again important in becoming a human being — and figuring out, ‘where is your line?’ so to speak, they really haven’t been able to do so.” She continues, “They’re very behind on the emotional, social, physical skills that become really important to become fully functioning adults.” Levkoff isn’t just talking about explicit sexual experimentation, either, but things “like holding hands and kissing… Flirting!”

As parents who are far removed from their own adolescence, it can be harder to remember the discomfort, the thrilling discoveries, and the overwhelming newness of that time and learning how to do those things.

“I think that we forget how much practice it takes to get social skills right — and I’ll use the word ‘right’ in quotation marks, not that there’s one way to do it,” Levkoff says. “You’re never really all that smooth in the beginning, you’re probably not so smooth at the end. But there is serious practice and confidence that’s built. And young people in this particular age group haven’t really had the opportunity to practice some of those skills. It’s not just the emotional vulnerability of putting yourself out there or even identifying your feelings; it’s also navigating feelings of rejection, which they’re not getting an opportunity to practice, either. Because there are plenty of times in my middle school years, I liked someone who did not like me back. And yes, it sucked and hurt and I cried a lot. But it did teach me resilience. If we’re not even making those first steps, we don’t have the opportunity to practice the potentially less than stellar options, which is also a part of growing up.”

“So it’s not just the emotional vulnerability of putting yourself out there or identifying your feelings; it’s also navigating feelings of rejection, which they’re not getting an opportunity to practice either.”

It’s those experiences — the cringe encounters at lockers, the rejections at school functions and group hangs, and the devastating early break-ups — that help teens cultivate that resilience, plus the communication, emotional intelligence, and problem-solving skills that serve any relationship and approach to sexuality well.

An inability to get that practice can lead to problems as teens enter their adult lives — where they won’t have the back-up of their parents or closer-knit communities — and make it even more challenging for them to understand their sense of self in a relationship, what they really want, and what feels pleasurable, positive, and safe in real-life situations with other people (and, in the worst cases, make it harder to identify what decidedly doesn’t).

“This is the question that I ask in some shape or form all of the adult groups that I work with: How would your life have been different if the messages that you got about sexuality were different?” Levkoff says. “But in this case, it would be, ‘how would your life have been different if you didn’t have those experiences as a teenager?’ Because I don’t assume that all teenage experiences are positive ones or healthy ones, but they do shape who we are.”

The thought of teens leaving their childhood homes sans those formative experiences worries experts like Levkoff, because there’s just so much they’re ill-prepared for.

“I worry about young people not having opportunities to take calculated risks when they have trusted adults in their vicinity and sort of moving into the next chapter of their life where they’ve never taken any risks,” Levkoff says. Teens living on their own, beginning to take risks without any kind of safety net (not to assume that everyone has one) and maybe lots of drugs and alcohol available — “that, to me, is problematic,” she says. “Imagine a whole generation of young people who aren’t having those [experiences] or access to tap into those feelings. What happens when they go into this next chapter of their lives as young adults? If they don’t have any of those skills to navigate that, that means delayed adolescence.”

How can parents support and connect with their teens right now?

The potential for unnecessary harm (emotional or physical) among teens is a major concern for parents, who have had to watch their kids experience life over the last two years via screens and at a distance from their peers — and miss out on so much. And it’s in this big old mess of intersecting grief that we can miss valuable chances for real and beneficial communication.

“My biggest concern is their grief. Teens today have a lot to grieve,” Brown-James tells SheKnows. “People lost being able to create memories around prom, school trips, first romances, firsts kisses, and going off to college even.”

And it can become so, so difficult when parents want to empathize with their teens and realize that they can’t truly ever get it. Not really. Even saying the phrase “I understand” when a young person tries to express the loss of this time, of these years of their short lives, can be a foot-in-mouth moment. Instead, Levkoff says, adults have a real opportunity to connect by embracing all the things they don’t understand and truly listening.

“Really be open and say, ‘I want you to know, I don’t know exactly what it is that you’re going through. I would love for you to tell me so I can help you develop whatever tools, whatever resources you need. But I’m not going to pretend that I know what you’re going through. Your teenage years look very different than mine did,'” Levkoff says. “I think there is something very humbling about that. I’ve always told parents, caregivers, guardians groups that pretending like you have all the answers is not always helpful, particularly when you don’t get it. If we want to bridge that gap and make ourselves look human and not just like disciplinarians or authority figures, say ‘I don’t I don’t have the answer to that, but what I would like to do is find a way for us to find those answers out together.'”

Dr. Brown-James adds that adults can always do more to validate how “teen relationships are real” as well — and not be dismissive of their feelings just because they’re young and inexperienced. “Too often they get minimized into puppy love-type situations rather than respected as the real life practice or potential lifelong relationships,” she says.

From there, the actual, concrete safety decisions at this stage of the pandemic (with variants still in the picture, a lot of unknowns, and a significant decrease in information), have to be made by families in a way that acknowledges the importance of these years and the gravity of what’s been lost and what young people need to have full and happy lives.

“Across the board for young people, socialization is critically important — having friendships, having connection, not feeling isolated,” Levkoff says. “We need to be concerned. And at some point, every family has to decide for themselves whether or not the potential benefits outweigh the risks.”

Before you go, check out our favorite (and some of the more affordable) mental health apps for extra self-care: 

There’s really nothing that compares to the epic and highs and lows of being a teenager in love. Throw in a once-in-a-lifetime global pandemic disrupting life as they know it, adjusting to multiple years of disrupted social interaction (from isolation to Zoom school to pod-only hangouts) and the teens of today are undoubtedly saddled with unprecedented challenges when it comes to connecting with one another.

To get an idea of how teens are really feeling about the state of crushes, dating, and connecting with their peers in their third year of pandemic living, we turned to some real teens — our Hatch Kids — to tell us what it’s really like to date (or even consider dating) in 2022. They sounded off on everything from how a crush might catch their attention or flirt over Zoom (pro-tip: turning on your camera and saying pretty much anything is a great place to start) to whether vaccination status is a dealbreaker and how a friend’s new partner can shake up their pods.

Not surprisingly, the pandemic has a number of the teens sharing that they haven’t really been focusing on forming as many new acquaintances IRL, since new people are harder to meet without in-person school clubs, parties, or big public outings.

“I think it made my existing friendships really, really strong,” Julia, 16, says. “Like maybe I could have a lot more friends or form new relationships with people but I don’t really care because I think the pandemic made me form really strong connections with the friends I already have.”

But a number of our teens also saw that the pandemic’s isolated and overall lonely vibes did inspire some of their peers to get out there and partner up (or maybe feel more committed to staying partnered up): “I’ve only seen a couple couples break up during the pandemic,” Jack, also 16, adds. “I’ve seen a lot of couples get together — maybe that’s because people are more starved for intimacy so they’re more reluctant to break up.”

Dr. Lexx Brown-James, a couple’s clinician and therapist (and SheKnows’ resident sex columnist) says that the teen years are vital social learning time as “teens are literally defining themselves and finding their group identity who they wanna be among others.

“The pandemic interrupted that process, so teens aren’t having the chance to engage with peers in the same way and learn about their morals, values, and social skills as they have been able to pre-pandemic,” Brown-James tells SheKnows. “This hits romantically as well: teens aren’t able to feel one another out, practice in-person consent, or experience intimacy in the same ways.”

Instead, a lot of these connections (for better or worse) are getting their start online, which hits on the sort of love-hate relationships a lot of teens already have with social media. It’s a necessity to keep connected with their peers and represents a way to potentially meet someone new or get the rush of getting DM’d by a crush — but it also feels frustrating, overly-curated, and a little bit hollow compared to the IRL interaction and in-person experiences they (understandably) feel they’ve missed out on.

Intrigued? Watch the full video of SheKnows’ Hatch teens as they open up about all dating during a pandemic and the state of their relationships in 2022.

One year. It seems hard to believe, but it’s officially been one year (and counting) of pandemic living. Last March, the full effects of COVID-19 — the sweeping scope of the tragedy, the destructive impact on our daily lives — weren’t yet fully clear. We didn’t know we’d be wearing masks for the foreseeable future. We didn’t know we’d go months without hugging grandparents. We didn’t know that more than 500,000 American lives would be lost. All we knew was, it was new, and it was terrifying — for us parents, to be sure, who suddenly had to worry about jobs, health, and homeschooling, but also for our kids. There’s no getting around it: COVID-19 quarantine has been tough on our “quaranteens.”

Last April, a month into school closings, we asked a group of teens — our Hatch Kids — to share how they were faring with the stress of quarantine isolation at home. (Spoiler alert: not well. “There’s a breakdown coming,” Reed, 15, told us. And just a month in! Little did we know.) A month later, at the end of May, we talked to them again, and they opened up to us about everything from the school milestones they missed to their mental health. Back then, what scared Jack, 15, the most was “the prospect that we will be doing this for another 18 months.”

Now, after a full year of pandemic living, they’re sharing just how debilitating and stressful this year has been for them. What’s eating at them now isn’t so much that it’s new and unknown, but that’s it’s ongoing and exhausting. “It is permanent now,” Jack tells us, “and it felt temporary in March.”

By their own accounts, these teens are lonely, low-energy, and depressed. They’re going crazy inside their own houses. “Have I felt anxious? One thousand percent,” Julia, 15, says. They’re also not sleeping enough, and they’re spending too much time on their screens. “I’ve spent so much more time on my phone than I did before, like seven hours a day,” Reed, 15, admits. “That’s so bad.”

But is it really? What used to be a source of stress for parents — worrying about our kids’ screen time and the effects of social media — has turned out to be a lifeline for them.

“Since none of us were connected physically, social media made us feel somewhat connected,” Evan, 15, says. Adds Henry, 15, “I’ll be on FaceTime with some of my friends for up to five hours just talking because we don’t have that in-person contact; we have to use FaceTime.”

All of this tracks with how parents nationwide are reporting their teens’ experiences with COVID-19 quarantine, according to a new C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital National Poll on Children’s Health, which asked parents to detail how pandemic restrictions have emotionally impacted their teenagers. More than 70 percent reported that COVID-19 “has had a very or somewhat negative impact on their teen’s ability to interact with their friends,” while just shy of half (46 percent) said they noticed “a new or worsening mental health condition for their teen” since the pandemic’s start.

Despite the toll this past year has taken on these teens’ mental health, it’s also shown us how resilient they are. Reed realized that being “alone with yourself” and “bored” isn’t always a bad thing. Emma enjoyed more frequent family dinners. Jojo, 15, struggled before being diagnosed as bipolar and finding the right medication mix to manage her condition. And Juno, 15, despite feeling lonely, found strength in the social justice movements that have taken place, “seeing people stand up for Black lives, Black trans lives, and Asian lives. It’s so important and it’s something that’s really been lacking in previous years.”

Do we know, then, exactly what the long-term effects of this “lost year” will be on our kids? We don’t — and experts don’t either. But we do know that there are ways parents can help teens navigate quarantine stress and anxiety. And we know that, despite everything, our kids still have hope.

“I definitely feel less scared of covid than I felt a year ago,” Evan says: Jojo agrees — and she’s willing to bet on it. Go ahead, watch the video.